The Cell Games Gone Wrong
by TheBatcave
Summary: Reposted. Gohan has a crush on Cell, Trunks has discovered his disadvantage, Piccolo's always yelling, Goku is a crybaby with no sense of fun, and Vegeta can't keep his thoughts to himself ...
1. What Is The Tournament? Really?

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**I know, I know ... POINTLESS! But HEY! I've got two years of life changing GCSE work to do so I won't have much time to do looooong chapters so looks like we're going to have to do this the long way … sorry :D  
Summary -The title pretty much tells it. This time it's different because Gohan has feelings for Cell, Trunks has discovered his disadvantage, Piccolo is extremely paranoid and he's always yelling, and Goku's just the same old loveable oaf we all know and love!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN DRAGONBALL Z! NOR WILL I EVER! REMEMBER THAT!**

**Chapter 1: What Is The Tournament? Really?**

Trunks was stood in the middle of the battlefield, deep in thought. Then he thought about what Cell said:

"I so need to stop staring into space like that..."

Okay, THEN Trunks thought about what Cell said:

"You Saiyans are like cocroaches! I squash one and another comes crawling from the wall!"

"Yeah, I MOCK YOU WITH MY MIGHTY BUG FIGHTING SKILLS!"

No, not that part!

"The tournament will take place in nine days, good luck!"

"Oh yeah, Cell! You forgot one important thing! You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't!"

Trunks realised he had said that out loud.

"GOD DAMN YOU CELL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Trunks released his energy...again...he destroyed rocks! NOOOOO! When he stopped, he fell onto his hands and knees, laughing.

"...but he doesn't know that! YEAH! Oh, no! I COULDN'T BEAT HIM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Trunks destroyed more rocks...-.-...

Meanwhile, Vegeta's head popped out of nowhere in the air, and so did Krillin's.

"What's up with Trunks? He looks hurt!" cried Krillin. Vegeta folded his arms.

"Hmph..." he said. They flew down to Trunks who was once again on all fours.

"What happened?"

Trunks remained silent.

"Tell us what happened! NOW!" yelled Vegeta.

"Alright, don't bust a gut daddio..." he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Uh, I mean, I couldn't beat him, I'm...sorry," he said as he powered down out of Super Saiyan.

"Hmph, of course you couldn't!"

"Hey, you jerk!"

"Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself."

At the lookout...

"TRUNKS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE YELLED YOUR DISADVANTAGE OUT LOUD LIKE THAT!" cried Piccolo.

"Lighten up, man, at least Cell didn't hear him," said Tien.

"Yeah, I guess."

"THAT'S IT! I NEED TO TRAIN NOW!"

Piccolo barked and walked away.

"Gee, Piccolo's really stressed out today huh?" said Bulma.

"Well, Piccolo's always been on the paranoid side, but his mostly annoyed that Trunks admitted that he couldn't kiss his own ass."

"So, neither can I."

"Guess it runs in the family..."

"I guess we shouldn't hang around."

"Yeah, lets go!"

Vegeta, Trunks and Krillin all turned to leave.

"Wait!"

They turned back, and Android 16 stood with only half a head.

"Help me, I want to fight Cell with you!"

"No way hosey! You're an android!" yelled Trunks.

"Surely, Trunks, your mother told you not to discriminate against others!" said Vegeta.

"You're right, dad, she did. I must get it from you!"

"HEY!"

Krillin was already in the air with Android 16.

"Are you guys coming? 16 says that if we help him, he's gonna tell us whereFrieza hid his jelly babies!"

"Finally! I thought I'd never find out!" said Vegeta.

"Holy sh--!" mumbled Trunks.

Fires were burning in the hyperbolic time chamber...Gohan had set the oven on fire again while he had tried to make a proper meal for him and his father. Goku was trying to sense his son in the flames.

"Man, it's like an oven in here!"

Gohan popped out of the flames and Goku just barely dodged his punch. They started fighting again. Goku then sshot a Kamehameha at his son, who shot a Masenko at the same time time.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (I couldn't resist!)

Goku emerged from the smoke and dropped the sleeping Gohan onto the bed.

"Phew! I should reming Mr Popo to put a smoke alarm in here!"

At Capsule Corp, Mrs Briefs was watering her plants again when Vegeta touched down behind her.

"Oh, hi Vegeta! Where have you been?"

"Out."

"Come on, you can tell me!"

"Just keep smiling, it makes people wonderwhat you're up to."

"Oh."

Trunks then touched down too.

"Oh, you've brought a friend! He's very handsome!"

Trunks blushed greatly and started rubbing his head.

"Uh, you think so?"

Krillin touched down.

"Hey, is Bulma home?"

"Oh, hi Krillin!"

"Uh, hi, is Bulma home?"

"Where have you been too?"

"Uh, out. Is Bulma home?"

"Have you been out with Vegeta?"

"Yeah, is Bulma home?"

"Have you met Vegeta's friend?"

"YES! IS BULMA HOME?"

"And such a handsome young man too!"

"HEY, IS BU--"

"Oh, hi there Krillin!" said Doctor Briefs as he arrived on his little bicycle. "Bulma just called, she's on her way."

"AT LAST!"

"HELLO DOWN THERE!"

Master Roshi and co. walked out of the plane as they arrived.

"Where's Gohan?" said Chi-Chi. Krillin backed away and started cowering.

"He's still training at Kami's place!"

"Great!"

Later on, averybody was on the balcony watching the sunset.

"Man, a tournament!" said Yamcha.

"And you yelled out your disadvantage!" said Krillin.

"You know about that!" cried Trunks.

"Man, the whole damn world knows about it 'cause you yelled that loud!"

"Great! You're telling me that Cell knows that he can kiss my ass but I can't?"

"No, we're talking about the part where you became to bulky when you ascended, but now that you mention it..."

"HEY!"

"Where's Chi-Chi?"

"Hoovering the hall way."

"Life in a vacuum sucks, get it!" said Oolong. No one payed attention to him though, and just kept on looking at the sunset.

"At least she was pretty clear about the last part," said Master Roshi

"You mean the Gohan-not-fighting-in-the-tournement-part?" said Trunks

"Uh-huh!" they all said.

Elsewhere, on yet ANOTHER samll island, some random guy was drinking vodka out of a fountain...just kidding, it was a water fountain!

Cell had landed on the cliff-side and some dodgy robot music was playing out of nowhere in the background.

"Ah, yes! No one here but a guy on a hang over!"

They guy heard him.

"HEY, THIS IS A WATER FOUNTAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The man was destroyed as Cell cleared some of the land away.

"Perfect! LIKE ME!" he stated as he divided a cliff on the opposite side of the islaned into loads of with tiles.

Cell placed them all on the floor.

"Now to get the word out! I think I'll appear on the kids channel! That'll scare them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He flew off.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	2. Cell's On TV

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 2: Cell's On TV!**

Doctor Briefshad already fixedAndroid 16...NOT...he was actually just tampering with his circuits, and the computer he was using was broken (duh!)

"Hmmm, all sorts of computer errors are turning up. This is ridiculous! The computer is telling me that you're carrying a chicken!" he exclaimed.

"Um..."

"Oh."

"So-can-you-fix-me?" he asked. (a/n: you'd be suprised how robotic this guy is...)

"I don't know, we'll have to wait until Bulma get's back. She knows a hell of a lot more about you than I do!"

The computer started beeping.

"What-is-the-matter-with-your-computer-now?"

"Well, the most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit!"

"Ok-ay?"

16 looked at Scratch who was hanging from the Doctor's shoulder.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooow!" she said.

"Kit-ty!"

Now, where were we, ah...

CAKE!

Oolong and Master Roshi were enjoying Mrs Brief's fairy cakes, and guess what? SO WAS CHI-CHI!

"Mmmmmmm. Cake. Yum!"

"Hey, save some for me, you, you, PIG!"

Mrs Briefs turned up from the kitchen.

"This is great cake!" said Chi-Chi, who was the only one being polite.

She placed the fried and cooked foods on the table. Oolong's face lit up...

"Pass the porkchops!" he said.

"You cannibal!" cried Master Roshi.

"And you're a filthy old man!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

"NEVER! FEEL THE PAIN OF THE PORKCHOP! HIIIIYA!"

Oolong temporarely knocked him out with his almighty pork-CHOP!

Meanwhile, Trunks, Yamcha, Krillin, Chaotzu, Puar and Vegeta were all watching TV.

Yamcha was flicking through all of the channels.

"Cell said to watch the televion for details right? Trunks? Hello? Is there anybody in there?" said Krillin.

Trunks was busy looking down at his ass. 'How can I beat Cell with my disadvantage?' he thought.

"TRUNKS!"

"I'm here! What?"

"Cell said to watch the TV right?"

"Yep!"

"Did he say which channel?"

"Nope!"

"Are you sure he was serious?"

"Yep!"

"Are you positive?"

"Yep!"

"Stop doing that, Trunks!"

"Nope!"

Krillin let out a frustrated sigh. He looked over at Vegeta, and admired his yellow shirt.

"What are you looking at cueball?"

"Nothing, I just, uh, like your shirt."

"Why does EVERYBODY LIKE MY SHIRTS!"

"Hey, Krillin, do you want toplay outside, I'm bored!" said Yamcha.

"Yeah, come on!"

Elsewhere, in the mountains near Satan City, Cell makes his dramatic entrance...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EARTHQUAKE! 911! HELP US!" cried a few people.

Cell entered the TV studio politely by knocking half the city down and the wall to reception.

"Excuse me, sorry to barge in (yeah right), but where can I find the world brodcast thingy?" he asked 'politely'.

"T-t-t-t-t-t-t-o-o-o-o-o-p-p-p-p-p f-f-f-f-l-l-o-o-o-o-r-r-r-r-r!"

"Thank you! I'll take the stairs!" said Cell with a Goku-grin on his face.

After an hour of climbig stairs and frightening everyone in sight, he reached the top floor.

"You guys have GOT to put a lift in here!"

"AAAH! Call security!" cried the news guy.

"Bye bye!"

Cell killed him and turned to the camera.

(and said exactly the same as he did in the series, lets go to the part in the time chamber...)

Meanwhile, in the Time Chamber, Gohan was having a dream...

"I have to become stonger than a super saiyan!" he yelled.

"GOHAN!"

"Mom?"

"NO IT'S ME!"

"Piccolo?"

"WHY ARE YOU TRAINING? YOU SHOULD BE ASLEEP!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Cell appeared behind Piccolo.

"Whoa!"

"CELL I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WAIT OUTSIDE!"

Gohan looked at Cell in an odd way. Cell had an uncomfortable look on his face when he looked at Gohan.

"What are you looking at?"

"Uh...hmm."

Gohan sighed as if he was in love or something. He just gazed at him. Cell looked away and crossed his arms across his chest again.

"Gohan, wake up and smell the seduction! Don't look at me like that!"

Gohan just smiled.

"Why..."

"You need to wake up!"

"Wake up, Gohan!"

Gohan shot up out of bed.

"Are you okay?"

"Was I talking in my sleep?"

"No."

"Ah, good!"

PLZ REVIEW!


	3. Mr Popo Has Quality Streets

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 3: Mr Popo Has Quality Streets And Cell Can't Drive!**

Everyone was at the lookout. Trunks was leaning against a pillar to the entrance of the palace. His face was stretched down it because he was having a short nap before his turn in the hyperbolic time chamber. He was drooling from the corner of his mouth while snoring to himself.

Vegeta had his back turned to the other fighters in that stubborn pose of his: stood up straight with his arms crossed across his chest and a MASSIVE frown across his face.

Piccolo was also frowning...figures. Tien was pacing...

"What should I get Chaotzu for his birthday?" he asked himself quietly.

Mr Popo came out with a huge glass bowl full of Quality Streets. Tien's face lit up.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Where did you get that door?" he cried as he ran up to the palace. "It's fantastic! I know, I'll get him a door!"

Trunks snored even louder.

"Mmmm, all the Capricorns to the blackberry patch...no, don't put the cheese in the sand blaster..." he mumbled.

"They'll take all the time they need to serpass me!" yelled Vegeta, who still had hs back turned to the other fighters.

"THERE ARE STILL NINE DAYS LEFT, VEGETA! AND THEY'RE TRAINING TO BEAT CELL, NOT YOU, SO YOU CAN AFFORD TO BE PATIENT WHILE I GO IN!" barked Piccolo.

"Man, you always know when Piccolo's around..." mumbled Tien. Piccolo's ear twitched.

"I HEARD THAT!"

The sound of Piccolo's yelling woke Trunks up as he slid off the pillar and fell in a heap on the floor.

"Okay, mom, I'm up!" he said as he quickly scrambled onto his feet. The other fighters looked at him strangely. "Uh..."

Suddenly, all of their senses snapped as they looked towards the palace door.

"I think they're done!" said Tien.

"No, you don't say!" said Vegeta sacrastically. He STILL had his back turned to the other fighters.

A cocroach scurried out of the door and ran over to the edge of the lookout.

"NO COME BACK, HERBERT!" yelled Goku as he ran outof the door. Herbert fell off the edge.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hi guys!" he said as his tragedy mask turned into a goofy grin.

Gohan walked out from the entrance.

"It's about time he forgot about that stupid cocroach!" he said.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH YOU'VE CHANGED!" barked Piccolo, again.

Gohan raised an eye brow at his mentor.

"Uh, thanks..." he said with a nervous smile.

"Could you tell us what's been going on?"

"I've discovered my disadvantage! Cell can kiss my ass but I can't! IT'S NOT FAIR! But he doesn't know it though!" cried Trunks. Everyone just stared at him. "Ahem, uh, carry on!"

Meanwhile, Cell was terrorising the neighbourhood.

A train was passing and blocking the road, causing traffic yet again.

"COME ON MOVE!" yelled one of the people, not that he knew that Cell was lurking behind the train. When it finally went passed the citizens started to scream.

"Where's everybody going? Oh, I know, I'll come with you!" he said in a cheery voice. Cell began to walk towards the people as they ran for cover. He picked up the car that was parked in front of him.

"Hey! You forgot this!"

They carried on running.

"Oh, well, finders keepers!"

Cell dropped the car onto the grass, got into it and started driving like a maniac, running all of the people over at the same time.

"Hey Piccolo? Can I have an outfit just like yours? After all, you were my first teacher!" said Gohan.

"OKAY! IT'LL MAKE YOU LOOK COOL!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"

"I DON'T KNOW! HOLD STILL!"

Goku had just put his fighting gi on and he looked at Gohan in his new outfit.

"Hey! No fair! I want a cape!"

"TOUGH LUCK, GOKU!"

"Whatever, I'm gonna see what Cell now!"

Goku disappeared.

And reappeared at Cell's arena, and Cell was just standing there. He turned round.

"BAAH! Ah, Goku, you startled me!"

"Uh-huh? I see. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that my son's gonna kick your ass, get me killed and blast you into a firey oblivion!"

(Gohan: WHAT!)

(A/N: J/K! He didn't really say that...)

"Uh-huh? I see. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be your first apponent, and why is that car parked over there half way through a tree?"

"Oh, I figured since you can drive, then I should too. But, I can't!"

"Yeah, you should really stick to flying! Well, see ya then!"

Goku disapeared using the intant transmission technique. Cell looked over to the tree with the car stuck in it.

"I really need to get rid of that thing..."

Goku returned to the lookout.

"So, how was Cell?" said Gohan in a cheery sort of way. Everyone looked at him strangely. "Um, uh, not that I care?" They all seemed to buy it. How would they look at him if they knew he had some kind of crush on the guy? (Gohan: Hannah, your story's getting weird! Me: Be quiet, you fool!)

"Well, he's stronger than I thought he'd be! I think if I fought him right now, he'd beat me into the ground."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY?"

"PICCOLO, STOP YELLING!"

"NO!"

"As I was saying, Gohan and I won't be needing another turn in the time chamber."

"Why not dad, it's so cool! There's an echo!"

"Hell no, your mom's cooking mexican, and I promised her that I'd drive her to a shoe store!"

"(sigh) Fine!" said the young hybrid.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" yelled Tien.

"Hy, Tien, don't pull a Piccolo on us!" said Trunks.

"Sorry. It's just after you've spent two and a half days with Piccolo, he sort of grows on you."

"LEAVE ME OUTTA THIS!"

Everyone lets out a frustrated sigh, and turns to Goku.

PLZ REVIEW!


	4. Zo Isn't A Word!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 4: Zo Isn't A Word!**

"My head hurts..." moaned Trunks as he slumped back onto the step, but missed and hit the floor. "Ah, screw it!"

"What the hell do you mean that your not going back in?" said Tien.

"Because we don't need to!"

"GOKU, I ORDER YOU AND HIM TO GET YOUR ASSES BACK IN THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"But, mexican!"

"And he is going to kill you if you keep calling him HE!" yelled Gohan.

"FINE, I'M GOING TO BED!"

Piccolo turns to go to bed but falls off the edge of the lookout.

"So, wittle Kakapants admits that he's scared of training in the Time Chamber!" sneered Vegeta. Kakapants, er I mean Goku just smiled.

"Yeah, if you think torturing your son in there is training, then nooo thank you!"

"Hey!" cried Gohan.

"And by the way, Veggie burger, I'm soooo kicking yow ass in power right now!" said Goku, soundinglike Vikki Pollard (if you watch Little Britain you'll know waht I'm on about).

"What? Arg, bastard!"

"Vegeta, there's a child present!"

"A pre-teen!" Gohan decided to act a little more grown up.

"Right, we're going home! Bye everyone except Vegeta!"

"Oh, kiss my ass, Kakarot!"

Goku and Gohan flew off the edge of the lookout and stopped at Korin's place. Yajarobe looked bored as always and his head was hanging out of the large gap in the railings which surrounded the small platform.

Goku and Gohan landed in front of Korin and Yajarobe decided to join them.

"Hi!"

Goku then caught a glimpse of a small cocrach falling the edge.

"HERBERT NOOOO!"

Gohan slapped his forehead in embarressment.

"Anywho! I came for your opinion. I'm going to show you my power, and I want you to match me up against Cell, kay?"

Korin nodded. Yajarobe snorted and Gohan was day dreaming about you know who...

"YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!"

Further up the tower at the lookout, our heros and Mr Popo.

"Hey!"

Were nearly knocked off their feet at Goku's immense power. At least Mr Popo was knocked off his feet.

"Hey! I am still suffering here! Kami has gone and my plants got sucked into the dead zone!"

I'm the one telling this story, bub, so there: P

"Why you little!"

"Mr Popo, are you fighting with the narrator?" cried Tien.

"She started it!"

Did not!

"You did too!"

DID NOT!

"Okay!"

Mr Popo went to hide under his magic carpet.

Meanwhile, Korin was staring at Goku.

"So, how do I match up against Cell?"

"Hmmm, well I'd still say he's more good looking than you."

"I thought you'd say that. Thanks for your opinion, how about power?"

"Still more good looking than you!"

"Wow, really?" said Gohan. Luckily, no one was paying any attention to him. "Is this love?"

Korin and Goku were still talking.

"Yeah, it is! I love him! I'm outta here!"

Just as he turned to leave, Goku did instant transmission and they ended up at Master Roshi's. They walked through the door.

"Who the hell are you?" cried Yamcha.

"Get outta my house!" yelled Master Roshi.

He brought asqueaky hammerout from behind his back.

"Uh, where were you hiding that?" asked Chaotzu.

"You REALLY don't wanna know!"

"Hey, hold it! It's me Goku!"

"... oh ..."

Master Roshi put the squeaky hammer back where he found it. Everyone had disgusting looks on their faces.

"And you must be Gohan," said Oolong who randomly crawled over to him.

"Duh."

"And you've buffed up!"

"Again, I say duh."

"Where's Chi-Chi? Chi-Chi!"

Chi-Chi ran downstairs and her jaw dropped to the ground (not literally).

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Where's my sweet little baby boy?"

Where WAS Gohan?

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Chi-Chi nearly had a heart attack as Gohan jumped up behind her with a Darth Vader mask on.

"I'm right here, mom!"

"Where?"

"(sigh) Under the mask!"

Gohan took it off and Chi-Chi yelled some more.

"What happened to my son's beautiful black hair! Who told you you could dye it?" she yelled as she started pulling it.

"Mom, it's not dye! I'm a super saiyan!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Later...

"Where are those two? I need to learn how to fly!" she said as she was searching for Goku and Gohan.

Meanwhile...

Goku, Krillinand Gohan were near the river playing scrabble.

"There!"

Goku put a two-letter word down on the board. Krillin scratched his shiny head while Gohan had a what-the-hell look on his face.

"Zo?"

"Yep!"

"Zo isn't a word!"

"Sure it is, son, it's in the dictionary."

"What dictionary?"

"The one on the shelf at home."

"I was being sarcastic."

Krillin decided to butt in.

"Guys hello? Cell could destroy the world in eight days and you two are fighting over a game of scrabble!"

"So?"

PLZ REVIEW!


	5. Lime Is A Fruit

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 5: Lime Is A Fruit**

Gohan was flying around looking for a village to do his mom's shopping.

Meanwhile, some girl with pigtails, who looked about ten or eleven years old,was hanging off a branch above a river, waiting for death.

JOKING!

She was trying to reach an apple on the edge. After some useless trying she fell into the river (HA HA).

"HELP!" she cried. Gohan saw what was happening and darted into the river after her. He pulled her out of the water.

"You okay?"

The girl looked down at her chest and was shocked to see where Gohan's hand accidently was.

"GAAAAA! HOW DARE YOU! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"What? Save you?"

"YOU! NEAH!" she said as she pulled a face at the boy. She turned and ran away, leaving Gohan speechless.

"All she needed to do was ask. I could have thrown her back in!"

Gohan eventually came across a small village and there was a hugedome-shaped buildingthat he had never noticed before.

"Wow! I didn't know that the circus was in town!"

He carried on flying until he came to Chazke Village. Is that how you spell it? Anywho, he landed on the dusty floor scanning the area for any signs of life.

"Aw, man! Not this one too! All the villages I've been to so far are completely deserted. Now I'll never get my mom's shopping done!"

Suddenly, Goahn heard a glass smashing and he turned towards the direction where it came from, which was a small store on the corner of the main street.

"Well, t least I know that_ somebody's_ working today!"

He walked towards the building. Meanwhile, inside ...

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GOING TO TELL YOU!"squealed an extremely short man with sunglasses. He and a very tall and skinny man, also wearintg sunglasses, were yelling at an old man behind the wooden counter. "WE NEED YOUR APRON! THE CUP CAKES AIN'T GONNA BAKE THEMSELVES YA KNOW!"

The old man just rolled his as and groaned a little. The short guy cackled to himself then went towards the shelves just as Gohan walked in.

"Hey! Beat it kid!" yelled the tall guy.

"YEAH! DO WHAT HE SAYS!" said the short guy.

"Man, that guy sounds just like Piccolo," said Gohan.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, KID?"

"Nothing ..."

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE US THE APRON, THEN WATCH THIS!"

The short guy knocked all of the glasses of the shelf and the pieces scattered all over the floor.

"Hey!" cried the old man. The short guy picked upone of the pitch folks (i honestly dunno what those things are) and got ready to swing.

"AAAAAAAAH! RUN! CELL'S HERE! EVERYBODY RUN! HE'S HERE!"

Gohan spun round, and got into fighting stance. Just as he put his game-face on, the girl whom he pulled out of the river was backing into the shop's doors with her hands over her face, yelling.

"EVERYONE RUN!"

Her words were cut short when she turned to Gohan and the old man.

"Hey! I know you!" said Gohan.

"Lime, how many times have I told you?" said the old man.

"Lime? Where?" Gohan looked around in confusion. "I don't see any limes?"

"He's talking to me, dumbass!" yelled the girl.

"Oh ..."

"My name is Lime by the way!" she said.

"But Lime's a fruit - "

The old man tried to cut him off by waving his arms and shaking his head a little. Luckily, Lime didn't pay any attention to Gohan. The old man felt a wave of relief over him as he walked over to the counter.

"Now, how can I help you, uh - "

"Gohan! My name's Gohan," said Gohan with a nervous smile. It seemed that the old man had snapped him out of his trance as he was thinking about 'you-know-who' again.

"And my name is John." (what is that guy's name anywho?)

Later that day, John walked out of the back of the shop with Gohan's groceries in one hand. The other he used to sheild his eyes from the sun as he searched the area for Gohan and Lime.

"Now where did those two rascals go?"

In the woods, against an old apple tree, teh 'rascals' were eating apples. Well, at least Lime was as Gohan fed his to the animals. He wasn't too kean on apples.

"Eeeeeew!" creid Lime as she spat something green out of her mouth.

"What?"

"Worm!"

Lime pointed towards a green wormy thing on the ground. Without warning, it turned around and slithered over to Lime.

"Hey! That wasn't fair! What did I do to you? That apple was my home. How would you like it if someone chewed through your kitchen? That mud was good and ready too! Now it's still in the oven, ALL HOT AND CRISPY!" yelled the worm. It turned, 'hmphed', and slithered off again. Lime looked like she'd just seen a ghost as her skin turned blue.

"Why so blue?" asked Gohan. (i know, its already been done)

"I will never eat another apple ever again."

"Okay. Hey, do you want some apple juice?"

"GOHAN!"

Suddenly, somebizarre carnival music started to play just behind the hedge. Gohan and Lime went over and saw about a hundred people in posh clothing with suit cases in front of the dome shaped thing that Gohan had seen earlier.

"What are they doing?"

"Fools! They're not gonna get into the shelter unless those cup cakes are made. John hasn't even given them his apron yet."

"That thing's a shelter?"

"Oh yeah, its a big dome thing that's supposed to protect them from Cell if he happens to take over the world in the next eight days."

"Uh huh?"

Then a man got up onto a small stage and prepared to do a speech as he cleared his throat.

"Hello all, and welcome to the Chazke Village Shelter! I'm afraid we can't go inside yet until the cup cakes are ready, so if you'd just bare with us then they should be with us at any time now."

Lime sneered.

"Yeah right! John's never gonna give them his apron." Gohan raised an eye brow.

"What exactly are you gonna do about it?"

"Watch this ..." Lime gathered all the oxygen she could fit into her lungs and yelled as loud as she could. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! CELL'S HERE! RUUUUUUUUUN!"

Gohan started to wave his arms around to try and make ther stop. "Gah! What are you doing!"

It was too late as all the people started running towards the shelter. The guy on the stage, along with the short guy and the tall guy who were in John's store earlier, ran into the shelter and shut the door tight.

"Wait, sir! It's just a prank!"

"WHAT!" he yelled as he and the two guys he was with stormed out of the shelter, as about six security guys came up to them, dragging Gohan and Lime with them.

"It was these two, sir."

"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LIVE WITHOUT CUP CAKES?"

"NO! THIS IS STUPID! THAT SHELTER IS STUPID! AND YOU'RE STUPID!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Gohan decided to step in, being referee guy n all.

"Look, me and Lime are really sorry, okay."

"AAH, GO HOME TO YOUR MOMMY!"

Now Gohan was mad ...

"And where's _your_ mom. Is she one of the ones you locked outside?"

"You'll pay for that one. Guards, take care of this punk!"

"Hold it right there!" yelled John. Tim sneered (i give the guy a name so not to get confused with the other guys such as the short guy and the tall guy, and those other guys, the guard guys, i think ...).

"Alright, apron hogger! We'll show you!"

The guards ran over to John (see, he's not an old guy anymore), who knocked them all unconscious with a kick to each of them. Suddenly, Tao Pai Pai walked out of the shelter.

"Don't worry, Tim. I'll take care of the old man ..."

"Well, go ahead, General Tao, he's all yours!"

Tao Pai Pai went at John, who threw a punch at him but missed. General Tao shoved his knee into John's stomach, which sent him backwards. The cyborg's arm morphed into a ray gun, and aimed it at John.

"Good night!"

He shot a powerful beam towards him. As the blast consumed him, Lime was crying out.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

When the smoke cleared, Gohan was stood in front of John, who remained unharmed.

"What the ... that's it!"

General Tao aimed at Gohan, but then had second thoughts as his face looked very familiar.

"Hey kid! What's your name?"

"It's Gohan!"

"Oh, good, I thought you were someone named Goku!"

"Close enough! I'm his son!"

Tao Pai Pai was forzen with faer. he was terrified of Goku. He shot a tree down then picked it up. Tim ran over to him.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I QUIT!" he said as he threw the tree into the air. As it seemed to be soaring a long distance, Tao Pai Pai jumped onto it, and he flew away.

"HEY! YOU CAN'T QUIT!"

"I JUST DID!"

When Tim looked back, the people were looking at him angrily.

"Oh, man! They're mad about the cup cakes!"

Tim crawled over to Gohan, and begged for help.

"Hey, kid! You're super strong. You can help me right?"

Gohan agreed. He raised his hand and blasted the shelter into a bazillion pieces of charcoal.

"Don't you see? If I can do that to the shelter, just think about how much damage that Cell could do! Instead of preparing for the worst, I think we should be hoping for the best. Cell isn't invincible!" Gohan then drifted back into his own world. "He is quite dreamy though ..." Luckily, nobody heard him.

"Hey! Gohan!" said Goku as he landed in front of him.

"Oh! Hi dad! What are you doing here?"

"Well, looking for you. Aren't you supposed to be doing the shopping for your mom?"

"Oh no! I forgot!" John handed Lime a bag of groceries, and turned towards Gohan.

"No you didn't!"

Lime handed him the bag and they smiled at each other.

"Goodbye Gohan! Come and visit us sometime!"

"Yeah! And kick Cell's ass!"

"Lime!"

"Sorry ..."

Gohan and Goku left Chazke village, wondering if Chi-Chi would make them cup cakes. Gohan was also wondering how worms were able to talk back in bad-ass tone, but also day dreamingabout a certain android, who was stood in the middle of his ring, playing on his cell phone that he stole from a car boot sale (get it, cell phone? Never mind ...).

PLZ REVIEW!


	6. Memories Of Flapjacks

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 6: Memories Of ... Flapjacks ...**

Twas a lovely day at the Son home during the lunch hour, and Krillin, who had survived Chi-Chi's almighty frying pan beating, was reminding us of the confrontation betwen Vegeta and Yajarobe ...

"And Yajarobe goes - 'please sir! I didn't mean to steal your flapjacks! I didn't know it was the one that you got for your birthday!'"

Gohan and Goku burst out with laughter. Gohan picked his orange juice up to drink, but instead crushed the glass in his hand.

"Aw, man. Again? You should learn how to control it, son. Watch me ... " said Goku, but Mr Kakapants-know-it-all-father only ended up crushing his glass too. Chi-Chi was so angry, that she was redder than a giant tomato ...

"WHAT? AGAIN!" She yelled.

Goku and Gohan jumped and broke the table and chairs. Krillin was still sat down, and he slapped his head in misfortune.

"Wow, we really did it this time!" said Goku.

"Chi-Chi's gonna kill you guys! Hey, where'd she go?"

Chi-Chi emerged from under the the shattered table and chairs, even redder than she was before.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! HERE I AM! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! CAN'T WE HAVE A NORMAL LUNCH TIME WHERE WE DON'T BEND SILVER WEAR AND BREAK ALL THE FURNITURE! HUH?"

"Uh, sorry ... " said Goku, who was at a loss of words.

"I know, why don't we use paper plates and cups?" said Gohan.

"OH YEAH? WELL THINK AGAIN KID!" she yelled. Her red face soon turned back into her normal motherly smile, "what a funny sense of humor, paper plates and paper cups, you must get that from your mommy! I'll tell you what, Gohan, since it's your birthday, I'll let you off easy. You can help me clean up. As for you, Goku, hit the road!" Chi-Chi opened the front door.

"You, uh want me to leave home?"

"Yes, Goku. I can't take it anymore, I need you gone! At least until I finish setting up for Gohan's party! You like to fish, right, so why don't you catch a fish or something?"

"Oh yeah! I'll catch a big one!"

"I'll go too!" said Krillin.

"Me too!"

"Wonderful plan! But you can forget it, Gohan! After you've helped me clean up, your going to carry on studying!"

"Aw, but mom ... "

Goku put his hand on Gohan's head.

"Hey, your mother's right, Gohan, it would be best ifyou studied this afternoon."

Chi-Chi, Krillin and Gohan all collapsed at Goku last request.

"What did I say?"

"You don't know!" yelled Krillin.

"Are you sick?"

Chi-Chi shoved a themometer into Goku's mouth and put her hand onto his forehead.

"You feel okay ... "

Later that day, Chi-Chi was fixing something for dinner. While humming 'the great escape' theme, she pulled something out of the oven and placed the tray onto the counter. And guess what it was? FLAPJACKS!

"Mm, mm, mm, mm, mmmmm, mm, mm, mm ... hah! I always feel like humming a tune when Gohan's studying! Poor Goku ... I hope he feels more like himself again when he gets back. I think this whole Cell thing's really getting to him."

Meanwhile, out in the lake, Goku was chasing a giant cat fish .. thingy. Krillin was sat on the grass laughing his ass off. (how that guy breathes with his mouth closed is beyond me! he ain't even got a nose ... well unless he's got gills ... )

Where was I (ponders) ... ah! Fish ... Goku jumped on the giant fish and both of them were under water. But then the fish head popped up

"I ate your friend! Now its your turn!" said a muffled voice coming from the fish. Krillin went blue, but then Goku also popped out of the water.

"WOW! A talking fish!"

"Spare my life and I will grant you three wish - AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Goku dragged it on to shore as it died.

Back at the house, Chi-Chi was onher laptoptrying to figure out how to sell her home made flapjacks on ebay.

"Ah ha! I've got it!" she yelled victoriously. "Now, I just need a copy of this ..."

She went through her classy laptop bag, but couldn't reach the bottom where the floppy discs were. Frustrated, she fell out of her chair and into the pile of old books behind her. As Chi-Chi wiped the dust off her dress, she came across a photo album.

"Wow! The old family album!"

Chi-Chi opened the book and saw a picture of Goku with half kebab in his mouth at their wedding.

"Oh my gosh! The wedding! That Goku!"

She then came across a picture of the day that Gohan was born, with the family sitting together.

"Wow! I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday!"

**Flashback**

Goku and Chi-Chi looked down at their new born son lying in the crib, sleeping.

"He's so cute!"

"Whoa! Look how tiny he is ..."

"Of course, he's a baby, silly."

"What's a baby?"

"Gosh, it seems like yesterday!"

"Maybe that's because it _was_ yesterday ..."

Ox King decided to interrupt before someone got the wrong end of the mighty frying pan swing.

"Uh, don't you think you should give the boy a name?"

"I've already got one!" said Chi-Chi. "Einstein."

"You have GOT to be kidding me ..."

"Nope. Our son's name will be Einstein."

The baby woke up and started crying.

"I don't think he likes that name, honey."

Chi-Chi picked up her son and cradled him in her arms.

"Of course he does. Look, he's fine with the name Einstein!"

The baby cried again.

"No he doesn't! See!"

"Alright then, why don't you come up with a name!"

"Okay!"

Ox king went to the desk an pulled out a long list of names for his new grandson.

"Alright, how about these? Ox King Junior, Ox Prince, Ox In The Box, Ox, Ox Man, Ox On Toast, Super Ox ..."

The baby cried again.

"See he doesn't like any of those either!"

6 hours later ...

Goku was sitting on the chair backwards, Chi-Chi was sat on the couch with her father, who was devouring a whole plate of flpjacks quiently so that Goku didn't notice, and the baby was fidgeting in his crib.

"Listen guys, I'm gonna go fishing."

"WHAT!"

Ox King interfered again.

"At least think of one name!"

"One?"

Goku thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought, until the next day ...

"Can we eat first?"

Chi-Chi looked like she were ready to explode.

"YOU WANT TO EAT? HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT FOOD WHEN YOUR SON'S LYING THERE WITHOUT A NAME? I KNOW YOU WERE RAISED IN THE WOODS BUT SURELY GOHAN TAUGHT YOU SOME MANNERS!"

The baby started giggling.

"COME ON! I BET YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANY NOTICE OF GOHAN'S MANNERS!"

The baby giggled again.

"Hey Chi, I think you found it!" said Ox King, noticing the baby's reactions.

"FOUND WHAT?"

"Watch this!" he said as he turned to the baby. "Gohan!"

The baby started laughing again and again.

Goku looked over to the shelf.

"The four star dragonball!" he said as he looked at the small orange sphere.

"Yeah! I'm sure Gohan would be proud that you named your son after him, wherever he is!"

Goku picked Gohan up and he giggled again.

"Gohan! Is that you what you wanna be called? Yeah! Gohan?"

Chi-chi smiled.

"Oh Goku ..."

**End flashback **

Chi-Chi closed the photo album, and stormed off to Gohan's room.

Gohan was trying to concentrate on his studies, but all he could think about was his no.1 crush, and had unintentionally written 'I love Cell' all over his math homework. Suddenly, Chi-Chi barged in. Gohan immediately shut his math book.

"GOHAN!"

"MOM! I'm really studying this time! I swear, damn it!"

"Don't swear you know better!"

"Yeah ..."

"Now clean up this mess then you can go fishing with your father!"

Gohan's face lit up.

"Okay!"

Meanwhile, Cell was busy meditating. But what he did know, was thata journalist, and two camera men were ducking down behind the rocks.

"Here we are, at the Cell Games aren, where our strongest fighters will compete against this monster, to decide the fate of the planet."

The journalist took a few small paces towards Cell.

"There he is folks, the one who calls himself Cell."

He placed his foot onto the arena then turned back to the camera guys.

"Oh! I can't do this! I've lost my nerve!"

"Then find it!" yelled one of the guys.

The journalist had pads on his arms, legs and shoulders, and had his helmet on for protection. ( ... cough ... moron ...cough ... )

He shoved the microphone in Cell's face, who was snoring a little, (lol) and started whimpering to himself.

"Um ... exuse me, mr cell, but could you tell us where you came from, and why you have chosen the earth as the home planet for the, uh, Cell Games."

Cell continued to ignore him.

"But if you're too busy to answer, a honestly and completely understand, Mr Cell, sir!" he cried with tears in his eyes. He stopped crying and looked up to Cell, who turned his head to him.

"Here's my answer."

Cell raised his finger, and pointed to the camera. "As long as you turn that thing off."

The journailst found his voice. "O-o-o-o-o-o-k-k-k-a-y ..."

They turned off the camera, and cell shot a blast at the camera guys, who ran away, screaming like little girls.

Cell chuckled.

"Morons ..."

He gave the journalist a swift kick up the backside, and he was sent flying into a big pile 'a ...

Elsewhere, in the woods, Goku was dragging the magical fish, or now the dead magical fish along the grass, and he, Gohan and Krillin stopped at a giant apple tree with a big chunk missing from the side of the trunk.

"Wow, take a look at the tree guys!" said krillin.

"Uh huh."

"Yep! This tree always has the best apples!" said Goku merrily. "Hope you don't mind one more round, old fella!"

Goku gently placed his hand onto the tree, which started to shake.

"Here they come!" said Krillin while holding out his shirt ready to catch the apples falling from the old tree. Gohan was fed up of waiting for gravity to do it's stuff, and just zipped in and out of mid air, collecting all of the apples. Krillin was dumb struck.

Gohan landed.

"Looking for these?"

"Well,I guess we'd better get back," said Goku. They'd just turned to leave when Goku started thinking about that missing chunk of bark in the tree. Then Goku started dancing around, flapping his arms, and squealing ...

"Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!"

"What?"

"FLASHBACK! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

**Flashback**

Chi-Chi and Goku were taking a walk in the woods, while Goku was pushing a 2 year old Gohan in the pram. (I'm a Brit)

"This has always been my favourite part of the woods," said Chi-Chi.

"I think Gohan likes it too!" said Goku. He and Chi-Chi admired how cute Gohan looked, giggling as loud as he could.

"Budderfwry!" he yelled as a white butterfly passed them. Goku and Chi-Chi were staring at a family of birds, while eating flapjacks, and Goku let go of the pram. Gohan was sent flying down the steep path. Chi-Chi and Goku started chasing Gohan down the hill. Near the bottom, was the apple tree, and Gohan was heading straight for it!

Gohan's pram flipped forward and smashed into pieces as it hit the tree. Goku started to fly to catch up to Gohan, who was crying his little eyes out. Suddenly Gohan's face turned to a very angry and determined expression, and he took a huge chunk out of the apple tree as he went through it.

Goku caught him as he fell.

"GOHAN!"

Chi-Chi ran over and took Gohan in her arms.

"Oh my ... thank goodness you're safe! You just think yourself lucky that your dad was here to save you!"

"Uh, not me!"

"Your daddy's not taking any credit is he? MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT!"

"Ow I'm injured!"

"What's wrong Goku!"

"I got a splinter!"

"Oh! Why is it so hard to stay mad at you?"

**End flashback**

"HEY! EARTH TO DAD!"

Goku snapped out of it.

"You should talk," said Krillin to Gohan.

"HEY!"

"You know, Goku, I dont' even know what's going on in your head."

"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" he laughed.

Later that evening, Krillin and the Son family were celebrating Gohan's birthday.

Ox-King noticed the cake with all their faces on it.

"Hey! Cool cake!"

"I know, Piccolo made it," said Chi-Chi. "You know him, he'd do anything for five bucks!"

"Hey mom, can I open my presents now?"

"No, cake first!"

Gohan gathred all the breath he could in his lungs to blow the candles out, and made a wish ...

'I wish that after the Cell Games, we can all go to Disneyland!'

Gohan blew the candles out ... and the cake.

The cake got everywhere, on everyone's faces, except for Gohan's of course.

"Mmm! This is delicious! Where's your piece, Gohan?" mumbled Goku under the layers of icing on his face.

Gohan and Ox-king began to laugh, until chi-chi popped up behind Gohan, pretty angry, indeed.

"Gohan!"

"I know mom, I'm in trouble!"

"You're damn right you are! A normal kid would be severely punished for trashing his entire birthday cake on his birthday!"

Chi-Chi smiled.

"But you can't help it! your goku's son! It's family tradition, pure and simple! Now who wants flapjacks?"

Everyone laughed as the party began.

PLZ REVIEW!


	7. So Long Herbert

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 7: So long, Herbert ... **

Mr Popo watched nervously as Vegeta paced, well more like stomped, back and forth in front of the door to the hyperbolic time chamber. Trunks was having another nap as he was spread across his floor with his mouth wide open snoring at the top of his lungs, and his nose twitched now and again.

"AAARG! I wish that namek would hurry up!" yelled Vegeta as he slammed his foot into the door. Mr Popo finally found his voice and came out from under his magic carpet, his favourite hiding place (no one would ever think to look for him there HA!).

"His time is almost up. Piccolo should be coming out of there any minute now! Just please try to be calm!"

"CALM? I'll show you calm! If he stays in there a second longer than he's supposed to, I'll knock the damn door down and _calmly _drag him out!"

"Oh! He's done!"

"Well it's about time!"

Vegeta looked over at Trunks who was mumbling something in his sleep.

"HEY TRUNKS!"

"Don't warn the tadpoles!" yelled Trunks.

"Don't warn the tadpoles?"

"I have a phobia of frogs ... sorry."

Piccolo walked out of the time chamber as the white light behind him made him glow.

"Great, a dramatic entrance ..."

Piccolo walked passed Vegeta and gave him the death glare.

"Move aside, Namek! I see you haven't changed a bit! What were you doing in there? Taking a nap? Hmph, I bet I'm even stronger than you right now!"

Piccolo turned to Vegeta, too bad that his yelling hadn't stopped.

"OH YEAH? FINE! I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!"

Piccolo ran away laughing like a maniac.

"You had to get him started, didn't you dad?"

Vegeta closed the door behind him, smirking.

"Now I will show you, Kakapants! I CAN BAKE COOKIES FASTER THAN YOU CAN! HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Vegeta cleared his throat and began his year of training

Meanwhile, over the hills, and far away (I love that song! It's by Nightwish :D), Goku, Gohan, and Krillin were hanging by the lake, and left Chi-Chi to do all the work dishing the food out. It was picnic time!

"Look, there's one!" said Goku, pointing at a fish that just popped up from the water.

"Guys! Lunch is ready!"

They all sat down to a massive lunch with flapjacks, friends, and family. Krillin noticed the car.

"Hey, Chi-Chi, I didn't know you could drive!" Chi-Chi looked at him proudly.

"Oh, not me! This is Goku's car."

"But how!"

"Goku went into town for a driver's lisence!"

"AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE?"

"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" said Goku with a mouth full of chicken salad.

Krillin laughed as hard as he could, then looked over at Gohan.

"Hey, Gohan?"

Gohan was staring into space yet again.

Later that day, the family and Krillin went for a drive down the road over in the city. The streets were deserted.

"Wow, looks like nobody's working today!" said Chi-Chi. Goku stopped the car, throwing them all forward and Krillin began throwing up out of the window as he wasn't a good traveller.

"Yeah, I guess we can't get that gift for Master Roshi..." sighed Goku. Suddenly, the news guys interrupted the music on the radio.

"We interrupt this program for breaking news, the King's special militaryforces are assembling at the location of the Cell Games, to try and destroy Cell once and for all!"

"WHAT NOOOO!" yelled Goku.

Cell was pretending to meditate, but was really sleeping, as he was snoring lightly. Suddenly ...

"HEEEY!"

Cell woke up startled. He then had a frustrated look on his face ...

"All these men still playing with toys ... " he drawled.

Cell flew up onto a near by cliff. One of the commando-guys looked up at him.

"Look he's running!"

Cell put his hand on his chest.

"Running? I just don't want any of you clumsy idiots to ruin my lovely arena!" he said with a woman's touch (LOL).

Goku listened to the radio with horror as he heard the guns shooting and the planes bombing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They yelled. The cliff collapsing with every few hundred shots.

"GGYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The remains of the cliff were smoking as they stopped. Suddenly, Cell's eyes were seen randomly floating through the smoke. By the time the smoke cleared, almost everyone had gasped at least once. One or two had heart attacks, or just plain flainted.

"Judging by your silence, I'd say it's MY turn!" smiled Cell, trying to pretend that he wasn't pissed off.

Goku listened to the radio in horror.

"Eee, ee ee!"

"What the?" Goku said, shocked. It was HERBERT the cokcroach! He'd survived his death defying leap from the tower, and must have scurried over to the battlefield during the past few days ...

Cell raised his hand, and a golden energy began to glow around it. Cell let a devious smirk spread across his face ...

"HERBERT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The entire army was destroyed.

"Now THAT was amusing! MWAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"That m -m -m -m -m -monsteeeerrrrrr!" yelled Goku as he stepped out of the door. "I'm sorry Chi-Chi, but I have to go. I need to talk to Piccolo about something. Goku disappeared leaving the three of them in the car.

"HI GUYS!" yelled Goku as he reappeared at the lookout. "Hey, were's Piccolo?"

"I'M OVER HERE! I'M BACK FROM DISNEYLAND! MAN, WHAT A TRIP!" Piccolo barked. He was wearing a yellow Goofy shirt, clown pants and boots and Mickey Mouse ears.

"Piccolo, can you split into two Nameks again, so there's a Piccolo AND a Kami?"

"NO WAY HOSEY! ONCE TWO NAMEKS HAVE FUSED TOGETHER, THEY CAN NEVER SPLIT APART,THAT'S WHY I WAS SO HESITANT TO FUSE WITH KAMI, YOU LAGBRAIN!"

"I was only asking! (sniffle) BWAHAHAHAAAAA! (sniffle)" cried Goku wiping the tears from his eyes, but then his face lit up. "HEY! I know, I can go to new Namek, and get a new guardian to make some new dragonballs! Yeah, that should do it!" Goku put hios fingers to his head.

"Uh Goku, I don't think you'll be able to get to New Namek from here!" said Trunks, still trying to conquer his disadvantage ... the poor guy ...

"Ah well, I guess I'll go to King Kai's and try and find them there!"

And so, he went to King Kai's ...

"Here we are, now I wonder what that goofy guy's up to ..." he pondered as he came towards King Kai snoring in his chair. "Sleeping, I should have known! Heh heh! HEY KING KAI!"

King Kai nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Goku.

"Hey Goku! Like the new do, you make a good blonde!"

"I'm not here for that this is serious, man!"

"Oh, okay, what's eatin' ya?"

PLZ REVIEW!


	8. Some Nameks Are Annoying

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 8: Some Nameks Are Annoying**

"Hello? Anybody home?" Well DUH! Chi-Chi, Krillin and Gohan walked in to the house. WITHOUT knocking, might I add ... Master Roshi turned around.

"Gohan? Is that you? You've gotten so big!"

"Once again, I say the word - duh ..." Gohan drawled as he plonked straight onto his butt in front of the TV. The King of the world was on TV giving a loooong speech ...

"And as I've said before, and as you all know, Cell has annhialated the entire royal military forces, and there is now nothing we can do until wait until the day of the Cell Games, which are in just two days away! My friends, all we can do is pray ... "

Back at King Kai's ...

"Ooooooh, an android huh? Well THAT'S a new one!" said King kai, raising an eye brow.

"Yeah, and the Cell Games are in TWO DAYS! I almost forgot! Well, you know since the thing with Herbert the cockroach and everything ... " King Kai had an anime sweat drop on the back of his head.

"I'm not gonna ask ... anyway, where are you of to now?"

"Well, I need to get to New Namek, but I don't know where it is, so I thought that you could help me!"

"Ookay then."

"If you could just, uh, point me in the right direction ... "

"Alright."

King kai turned to face the clouds, and had his back turned to Goku.

"Did ya find 'em yet huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh? Did ya ,huh? Hey! King Kai have you found 'em yet?"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE, YOU BIG DUMMY!" Goku fell backwards onto his as, just as king Kai turned around pointing towards the west.

"OOOOH!" Goku got up and searched west in the instant transmission stance with King Kai trying to annoy him in the background. He eventually picked up the signal, and disappeared.

Meanwhile, on New Namek, the nameks were having a golf tournament ... again ... -.-' and Goku appeared on the field. The elder came up to him.

"Are you friend or foe?" he stated cautiously to the 'stranger'.

"Uh, friend, I guess, look, my name's Goku, and I ... "

"Ooooh, then you must be the great saiyan, Goku! The one who saved our people from Frieza!"

"Well, yeah! Anyway, I've come with something urgent, or for something urgent ... "

"Ah, yes, we've been sensing a strange and evil disturbance coming from your planet."

"Disturbance? What's that?" Goku scratched his head in confusion.

"Energy ... " Goku took a deep breath ...

"Oh yeah, well the energy is an android named Cell, and he's been terrorising the planet, and we need new dragonballs because our guardian fused with Piccolo! And we were wondering if one of you guys would come with me to earth and be our NEW guardian! Phew!"

"Uh, could you repeat that?"

"I said, (deep breath) Oh yeah, well the energy is an android named Cell, and he's been terrorising the planet, and we need new dragonballs because our guardian fused with Piccolo! And we were wondering if one of you guys would come with me to earth and be our NEW guardian! Phew!"

"Didn't get some of that, say it again ... "

"Okay then (deep breath) I said I said (deep breath) Oh yeah, well the energy is an android named Cell, and he's been terrorising the planet, and we need new dragonballs because our guardian fused with Piccolo! And we were wondering if one of you guys would come with me to earth and be our NEW guardian! Phew!"

"Mmmm, not sure, once more."

"Right, I said okay then (deep breath) I said I said (deep breath) Oh yeah, well the energy is an android named Cell, and he's been terrorising the planet, and we need new dragonballs because our guardian fused with Piccolo! And we were wondering if one of you guys would come with me to earth and be our NEW guardian! Phew!"

"Now could you - say it backwards?"

Goku was about to take yet ANOTHER deep breath, until he realised what was going on.

"Hey! You're messing with me!"

"Heh heh! We were just seeing how many times we could make you say it!"

"Damn!"

"And yes, we do have one person who would loooooooooove to be your new guardian!"

The signs all pointed towards Dende, as he walked over to him and Goku.

"This is Dende, he's very good friends with Krillin and your son, Gohan!"

"Uh, hi, I'm Goku! Well, are you ready!"

"Sure! Bye everyone!"

They disappeared and were at King Kai's.

"Whoops, wrong way!"

They reappeared at the lookout.

"Hey! Look who I brought home for dinner, everybody!"

"WHA - ? DENDE!"

"Um, hi?"

"Is he our new guardian?" cried Mr Popo with his mouth full of Quality Streets.

"Yep!"

"ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT TOO MUCH FOR HIM? HE'S JUST A BOY, YOU BIG OAF!"

"(sniffle) Stop bullying meeeeeeheeeeheeeeeee! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAAAHAAHAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh, will you SHUT UP!" yelled Tien.

"Okay! Listen guys, I'm going to pay a visit to Krillin and Gohan.

At Master Roshi's ...

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

The TV was on, and Hercule was pulling a few busses along the stage, and the announcer was yelling his you - know - what off as Hercule was roaring at the audience.

"RAAAAARGH! WHO LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

Yamcha was half asleep with his arm propped on the table surface.

"Who the hell's that guy?" asked Chi-Chi as she was walking past.

"He's the world champion of martial arts," drawled Yamcha. Gohan was staring at the ceiling thinking about seeing Cell in just two days time, in a way he was excited, but nervous. He didn't notice that Hercule had shoved his fist through one of the buses on the stage.

"How sad," stated Master Roshi, while gulping down his eighth coffee that day.

"I know," said Chi-Chi. "Somebody could have used that bus!"

Everyone turned and gave her a look, before turning to the TV again. Just then, Goku appeared, and Chi-Chi angrily stomped up to her husband and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket.

"Now where have you been, Goku? DO YOU THINK I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?"

"Well if I could just tlk to Krillin and Gohan for a moment. There's someone there who'd like to see you!"

"Who is it dad?"

"Is this person, guh, friendly?"

"Oh, come on!"

They appeared at the lookout, and Dende's face lit up.

"Hey!"

"Dende! Alright!"

Gohan and Krillin ran over to Dende, and gave him a BIIIIIIIIG hug.

"HEY! DON'T YOU THINK WISH SHOULD GET ON WITH THE DRAGON AND STUFF?"

"Oh yes, if I started right now, it would take about a hundred days to make a new dragon."

"One hundred days? I'm sorry, Dende, but we don't really have that kind of time." Goku was beat at one hundred days.

"Oh ... uh ... hmmm ... hey! I know! If you still have the old model, I should be able to do it right away!"

"GREAT! HEY POPO, GET YOUR STUPID ASS DRAGON MODEL OUT HERE NOW!"

"Yes sir!" Mr Popo ran into the palace, tripping over his best roses and tulips on the way. "Oh darn it! Why me?"

Mr Popo EVENTUALLY got there with the model and he placed it in front of Dende, not to mention bragging about how he made it and all that crap. Anywho, Dende started to speak namekian, and the model disappeared in seven blinding streaks of white light that shot towards the Earth below them.

"It's all done. The dragon can be summoned as soon as the dragonballs have been collected." Goku looked baffled ...

"ALREADY! WOW!" Goku was yelling to try and make Piccolo feel bad about himself for bullying him ... cry baby ... but Piccolo didn't take any notice, being who he was. He was in a world of his own, talking to himself (or Nail and Kami anyway). Goku went without warning, and before Trunks could open his big trap to say anything.

At Capsule Corp, Bulma and her father were still working on Android 16, and baby Trunks was sleeping on the other side of the room.

"Oh hi Goku!" she said as Goku appeared out of nowhere. "What brings you here?"

"Can I borrow your dragon radar, puleeeeeeeeeeeeese?"

"Sure, it's over there in that drawer." Goku went and got it as if he were in a hurry.

"Okay thanks! BYE!"

"Goku?"

Goku found himself in the desert.

"Now, where to look ... "

At the lookout ...

"Hey Gohan? Gohan?" Trunks waved his hand in front of Gohan's face.

"Hmmm? What?"

"Oh, forget it. You're not thinking about what's happening! You're thinking about someone with looong eye lashes, and you're smelling that sweet perfume!"

"Whatever ... "

Meanwhile, in the savanna, Goku was having a wonderful time with the elephants while trying to get hold of the second dragonball.

And Cell was as bored as ever on his arena ...

PLZ REVIEW!


	9. Goku Counts To Seven

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 9: Goku Counts To Seven ... (Flatly) Yay ...**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Trunks was getting aggrivated, he could overcome his stupid ass disadvantage, and was forced to go Super Saiyan. If attempting to do the splits didn't do it, what will? "Ow ... " he said as he got up again. Meanwhile, Krillin was helping Gohan with his homework. Well, more like supervising ...

"Are you really studying Gohan?"

"Yeah, I've spent all this time with my dad so I figured that I should study like my mom wants."

"Oh, wait what does that say on the corner of your paper? Huh? 'I love - "

"IT SAYS NOTHING!"

Gohan tore up his paper and ate it. 'My mom's gonna kill me ...' he thought.

"Hey! I brought some stuff with me too!" said Dende with some homework in his hands, which he placed on the step that they were sat on.

"Wow! They give you homework on Namek too?" asked a stunned Krillin.

"Well, yeah, it takes a lotta work to becoma a good guardian, you know!"

Krillin began to look uneasy.

"Gah, all this homework ... is giving me bad flashbacks from ... algebra ... class ... "

They all laughed as Trunks gave up.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNN IIIITTTTT!"

Krillin got up to leave.

"Well, you guys give me shout if you need a study buddy, I'm gonna go to Master Roshi's! See ya!"

Later ...

Krillin looked half asleep, as Hercule was on TV acting as if he'd already won the Cell Games. (my great and holy GOD, this guy realy needs a life as soon as he can get one so Cell doesn't give him death in all of it's finest works ... -.-' ... )

"RAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Hercule (I'm using that name instead of Mr Satan because it's easier to remember, well to me anywho :D), what are you planning to do to Cell tomorrow?"

"What am I gonna do to him? WHAT AM I GONNA DO HIM? I'M GONNA KICK HIS ASS!" (he didn't really say that but I thought it was about time he said something besides 'backside' for oncein his sorry life, lol) "NOOW, WHOOO LOOOVES MEEE?"

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Krillin gulped down some coffee.

"Man, that guys a moron ... "

Meanwhile, Vegeta walked out of the hyperbolic time chamber with yet ANOTHER devious smirk, not to mention another pile of ruined clothes ...

"Well, did you ascend?"

Vegeta closed his eyes and chuckled a little.

"VEGETA, YOU MORON, IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH, YOU WUSS!"

"QUIET, NAMEK!"

Meanwhile, Goku carried on his dragonball hunt, and landed on a farm with a huge metal building in the middle of it all. Little did he know, that Tao Pai Pai was inside it with his boss and a couple of bone-headed bone-head body guards.

"Hmmm, two dragonballs, huh? Looks like somebody beat me to them. Damn!"

Meanwhile, in the building, General Tao and the random guys were watching Goku through the camera.

"Seems the chicken has brought his own frying pan!" stated Tao.

"Huh? Chicken? I don't get it ... " said the boss.

Goku enetered the building, and the boss set the arrows off, but Goku just walked straight into the room.

"Gaah!"

"Oh, there they are!"

"Alright were's the chicken?""Chicken? What chicken?"

"Oh, come on, don't play dumb with me!"

"Boss, let's get under the shield."

"Wha? Hey General Tao! Long time no see, huh?"

"What?"

"It's me! Goku! Remember?"

Tao looked uneasy, and everyone got their butts under the shield.

"HA! LET'S SEE YOU GET THROUGH THAT, TOUGH GUY!"

"Is this chicken like a pet of yours?"

"Just try and get through here, I dare ya!"

Goku looked up to the challenge, so he stuck is finger into the shield and it shattered in to a jillion pieces! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

"General Tao, do something!" cried the boss who was in the corner sobbing like a widdle baby ... moron ...

"I tell you what, Goku, I have a little puzzle for you ... " He took his mechanically engineered hand off, and out came a few jigsaw pieces, there was only around six to eight of them. "You finish this puzzle off by noon, and we'll give you your dragonballs!"

"Guuh, o-kay?"

"Here let me take your jacket for you!"

"Okay! Thanks!" The dragonballs were in there YOU IDIOT! (DUH!)

Later, at about 11:30, Goku had almost finished, just one more piece of the eight to go ...

He placed it into the middle of the puzzle, and there was a picture of all four teletubbies with a speech bubble saying 'tubby-bye bye' on it.

"I DID IT! WOOOOOOOHOO!"

Elsewhere, on the coast, General Tao and the boss and the bone-headed bone-heads were hanging around in the water, until Goku showed up.

"Hey look guys, I did it!"

He showed them the teletubby jigsaw puzzle in it's box. Goku looked over to the left at six sparkling orbs on top of his jacket.

"Wow, you found two more! Gee thanks!"

"No ...problem ... " said the General, still baffled.

"Okay! It was lovely seeing you again! Good bye!"

Goku disappeared once again.

At Capsule Corp, Bulma wiped her forehead in a job well done.

"Phew, that should do it! Come on, big guy!"

Android 16 got onto his feet. He was fully repaired, and boy, was he loving it!

"Woo-hoo!"

Goku found the last dragonball in the lake on the other side of the globe.

"And that makes seven (noo -.-), just in time! What? Hey! I counted to seven! WOO HOOOOOOO!"

The dawning of the 17th may had finally broken, and Cell seemed to be 'jumping for joy', as he was stood there on his arena staring ahead, bored.

"This is Jimmy Firecracker reporting to you live, where the cell games will begin in just one short hour ..." said jimmy, with the cameraman, Dave.

This was it, let the games begin!

**PLZ REVIEW**

**I also forgot to mention that Frieza will make an appearance in this story too. And there will be a new character called Rebekah Lindeman, who will be hosting the Cell Games, as WE believed it happened.**

**Until next time, bye bye!**


	10. A Load A Shizz

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 10: A Load A Shizz ...**

"Chi-Chi? Chi-Chi? Chiiiiii-Chiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"WHAT?"

Chi-Chi appeared with a rolling pin in her left hand, and vinegar in her right.

"Guuuh, nothing, I'm ... going ... now ..."

Goku hated vinegar, and when Chi-Chi had her rolling pin, he knew that he'd done something wrong.

"Goku?"

"Yyyyyyyes?" he answered as he was about to take off from the front yard.

"Promise me that Gohan will not fight. Can you do that?"

"Uh ... "

"Goku, promise me that our son will not fight in the tournament ... "

"Uuuh ... BYE!"

Goku disappeared, leaving Chi-Chi looking paler than usual.

"He didn't promise me, oh n. Then that means ... GAAAAAH!"

At the lookout, Goku showed up, but everyone looked as if the world had already ended ...

"Hey! What's with all the tragedy masks?"

"It's the dragon, he's in a bad mood because he can only grant two wishes and he wanted three! And Dende said that he can't orgnise a BBQ afterwards either ... " stated Krillin.

"I'm sorry, Goku," said Dende with his head down.

"Heeey! Don't worry about it! Right now, lets just get going, the Cell Games are gonna start in an hour, and I'm so excited!" yelled Goku, jumping up and down giggling. Everyone smiled brightly, except Piccolo, who was still suffering from yell-a-lot, and Gohan, who was as nervous as hell.

Meanwhile ...

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! The Cell Games are to commence in about twenty minutes! And so far no one has shown up to take on Cell, and we are still awaiting the arrival of the world's only hope, and the champion of martial arts, HERCULE!" (I'm calling him Hercule, because I'm sorta used to that name even though Mr. Satan's his real name) " And Cell is standing in the middle of his ring, frozen like a statue!"

Cell managed to sneak the all time death glare at them from the side. The nhe heard an engine running, and becoming louder. He turned his head to the side to find out that it was some guy in a black car. It stopped right at the side of the ring, and out stepped Hercule in his white cape. He stepped close to where the sun was shining to make it look more dramatic. Cell could hear Jimmy yelling in the distance.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! NEVER FEAR, HERCULE IS HERE! Now, he seems to be stepping onto the ring ... "

"You're goin' DOWN!" yeled Hercule, giving him a thumbs down.

"WOOOOOOOOW! HERCULE SEEMS TO BE WINNING ALREADY!"

Hercule turned around and signaled Jimmy and Dave to come down to the ring.

"Hmm, Hercule seems to want us to come down there. Oh my! Well, okay then."

They scurried down there like mice and stepped onto the arena with Hercule and Cell, who was obviously getting annoyed.

"Well then lets begin ... " Cell drawled, as bored as he was with these guys.

"Well, looks like Cell wants to get it on!"

Cell raised an eyebrow in digust.

"Planet Earth, the Cell Games are about to commence! Hercule, do you have anything you want to say to Cell?"

Hercule grabbed the microphone.

"Hell yeah! I'd just like to say, that I'm gonna whoop you're ass!"

Cell rolled his eyes, not that they noticed.

"I'm gonna spank you, Cell!"

Then he began spanking his own ass live on television in front of Cell. The audiences around the world were cheering. Cell almost felt sorry for the guy ... almost, almost anyway. His ignorance was painful. But that thought soon went as Hercule started pullin g absurd faces at him. Cell was twitching a little. '... oh - my - god ...' he thought.

Master Roshi seemed to agree with Cell on that one, while drinking yet another god damn coffee.

"You know, it might be fair if he gets killed - ah the heck with it ... KICK HIS BUTT, CELL!"

Elsewhere, Gohan, Goku, Trunks, Piccolo and Krillin where flying to the games, but Gohan caught something in the distance.

"Hey, look guys! It's Yamcha and Tien!"

They stopped at them, and Tien spoke first.

"Just so you know, we're not gonna fight. We're just gonna watch."

"Yeah, I'm WAY too chicken!" yelled Yamcha. "I'm sorry, i just had to admit it!"

"Don't worry, Yamcha! I can't kiss my own ass either!"

The both of them hugged and cried for one last time. Tien stepped in.

"Uh, do you want to go now, huh?"

" (sniffle) okay!" they sobbed, and they all took off.

At the Cell Games, things were REALLY getting out of hand as Cell's fists was twitching at his side, and so was his eye. Cell seemed ready to blast Hercule in to the next few plains beyond, never to return again, that was until he sensed a familiar ki heading towards them..

"Ah, Vegeta, I thought you would have learned your lesson by now ... "

Vegeta landed by the ring with his infamous frown spread across his face. (don't take this the wrong way, but Vegeta isn't my favourite character, but i fully respect him because of his character).

"Ooooh! A random guy has just come out from nowhere and seems to be giving me the death glare. Well, let's see what he wants!" (don't you just love this guy?) Jimmy shoved the microphone in Vegeta's face. "SOOO, what is your name and what are you doing here?"

"Look, I'm going to give this to you straight. My name is Vegeta, the one who will beat cell, and the one who will blast your balls off if you don't get out of my face!"

"Ookay!" He turned to Hercule. "Who exactly was that?" Hercule put his victory smile on.

"Hmm, he's probably just one of my fanatical fans ..."

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE CELL GAMES ARE TO COMMENCE IN JUST FIVE MINUTES, PEOPLE!"

Then another somebody landed on the other side of the ring. Cell smiled happily.

"WOW! ANDROID 16!" he yelled.

"Yep."

16 ran over to Cell and gave him a hug, and then ran off again.

"Uh, Cell just said something to the red - haired guy. Do you think that they know each other?" said Jimmy, adjusting his glasses.

"Who cares! You can tell by his outfit that he's an ameteur!" cried Mr - Satan - I'm - sooooo - smart - that - I - can - crush - you - all - with - my - little - finger - because - my - hair's - to - heavy - for - my - head - and - I'm - so - obnoxious - that - my - snob - of - a - daughter - can't - stand - me - and - shizz ...

(I reeeeaaaalllllyyy don't like her ... SORRY VIDEL FANS X X X X X X X)

Cell turned to the skies and seemed to be staring at nothing.

"Ah, there you are Goku! And just in time. I can hardly wait ... "

Jimmy, Dave and Hercule looked up aswell and saw the rest of the Z Fighters coming straight.

"There it is, Goku!" yelled Krillin.

"Let's do it!"

They all looked at Goku in disgust. Gohan on the other hand slapped his forehead in embaressment. Then the odd thought perked up in his head. 'Oh no you don't, dad. Cell's mine! Wha ... what the hell am I thinking.'

They all landed by the ring, where Hercule looked a little dumb founded.

"W - where are they all coming from?" asked Jimmy. Cell unfolded his arms and smiled.

"Welcome, welcome everyone!" he said clapping his hands together, and acting like Bulma's mom. ... Damn ... but then he realised he was OOC so he frowned again. (sorry about that)

Vegeta turned round. 'Why did _they _have to come, huh?' he thought as 16 came over. Savouring the moment, he walked veeerryyy slowly and Krillin's face went PING as he ran over to him.

"16!" he yelled, giving him a hug. Goku went over and held both his arms out.

"Hey! I'm Goku! Can I have a hug to?"

"No. I - know - who - you - are. I - was - pro - grammed - to - des - troy - you. But - I - have - cho - sen - not - to."

"Rrriiiiiiiight ... " answered Goku uneasily.

"Wow. I'm not so sure about all these new comers, but I must say it's vvveeeeerrrrryyyyy interesting," said Jimmy down his no. 1 love ... the MICROPHONE! Hercule looked neglected with his greasy hair and blinding white cape.

"Hey ... what about me?"

Attention seeking bastarrrr - anyway! Goku looked up to the challenge and cracked all of his fingers and knuckless and shizz, which left everybody clinging onto their ears in pain. Krillin looked up at Gohan, who was just staring at his father in disgust, again.

"Gohan, how the hell do you put up with that?"

"What?" Gohan puled his ear plugs out.

"Oh ... "

Gohan continued his constant staring at Cell, his heart was pounding in his rib cage. 'oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god ... ' That was ALL that was going through his head, until Cell looked at him back with those usual evil - mastermind - shizz - magenta eyes of his. Gohan gasped and fell backwards onto his backside as he stopped breathing.

"Uh, Gohan?"

"I lost balance .. sorry!" he said sheepishly as he got up again, this time avoiding eye contact with his fantasy lover. Uuurgh ...

"Goku, you don't have to be the first on you know, man ... " sid Trunks, also in a sheepish mood with his infamous disadvantage and shizz.

"HEY! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M THE CHAMP AROUND HERE?"

All eyes were set on Hercule as he stomped over there like a big baby. Jimmy, mature as he is ... went over politely.

"Excuse me, sir, but I was wondering if you or your friends were going to take part in the tournament?"

"Well duuuuuuh!" said Goku, still stretching. "And _IIIIIII'mmmmmmm_ going first!"

Uh oh, Hercule's ticked off.

"ALRIGHT!" he yelled, tossing jimmy aside. "I'VE JUST HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU CLOWNS AND YOUR STUPID TRICKS! NOW CLEAR OUT OF HERE BEFORE I GET ANGRY!" Not that he wasn't angry already ... but hey! Nobody seemed amused.

"Hey don't blow an artery, you grease ball ... " drawled Krillin. Uurgh, I could pulla better comeback outta my ... uh ... Hercule laughed as he boasted ... again ...

"I see ... you huys have spent soooooooo much time playing super hero in the woods and shizz, that you don't knoe, that I, HERCULE, AM THE MARTAIL ARTS CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!"

They all give hima what - the - hell look, while Jimmy backed him up.

"And the other challengers have been left speechless, BY THE ONE AND ONLY, MARTIAL ARTS CHAMPION OF THE WOORL - OOF!" he yelled as he tripped over his shoe laces.

"Okay. Since you don't know who I am, I'll show you!"

Hercule did an extremely gestured jump off the arena and landed in front of the Z Fighters. He picked p a rock and crushed it WITH HIS BARE HANDS! HALLELUJAH, WE'RE SAVED! Moron ...

"Now who rules?" Jimmy stepped in again.

"CHAMPION ... OF ALL ... MARTIAL ARTS IN THE WORLD ... HERCULE! HERCULE RULES, HERCULE RULES, HERCULE RULES, UH ... HER ... CULE ... RULES? They aren't buying it at all!"

Krillin looked at Goku.

"Hey, I say we let neanderthall (sp) nerdy shizz whatever here go first."

"You think we should?"

Cell was growing impatient ... not usually like him ...

"It's time!" he said, breaking the silence.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	11. The Villain And The Idiot

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Hey sorry it's been so long, and can I PLEASE HAVE SOME REVIEWS! Thnx x x x x :D**

**Chapter 11: The Villain And The Idiots**

Everybody seemed to be ready to RUMBLE! If it wasn;t for another awkward silence, then every square inch of Hercule's ass would have been kicked by now.

"Who will be the first ... to challenge?" asked Cell, looking at Goku. BUUUUUUUUUUTTT ...

"You're lookin' at him!" said Hercule standing as straight as his back could take it. "LET'S GET IT OOOON!" Cell shuddered at Hercule's request, and just stared at him again, trying to imagine him with no head ...

Any hoover ...

"There's no use in stopping him, Goku, he just won't listen," said Krillin.

"But I have to warn him. HEY MR. HERCULE, IF YOU FIGHT CELL YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED!" he yelled.

Jimmy looked at Hercule who looked back. And they both shrugged with a smile.

"Hey Dave, (I'm pretty sure that he said Lile but this is the cell games GONE WRONG so HEY what the hell ... Dave it is ... ), get a close up of the guy with the big hair.

"Right."

"Ahem ... just moments ago, this bizzarre looking challenger told our champion of martial arts that he was going to be beaten. And I have one thing to say to this now - it - all brat ... WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

"Goku, just lt him go first and stop the fuss. If Cell blasts his head off, we can just sew it back on for him, screw the dragonballs!"

"Aaaw, okay ... " he moaned as he put his hand up.

Jimmy's face went ZING ... POOF.

"They've finally decided not to interfere! for those of you who are watching the show, lets get started!"

"It's about time!"

"Lets set the scene, hmm? The first to compete will be Hercule, who will of course win, and the earth will be saved from total destruction, and bla bla bla ... "

"HOLD ON EVERYONE! IT'S TIME TO GET HAPPEEEEE!" said a really nagging girly voice from nowhere.

"Could it be?"

"THAT'S RIGHT, THE FABULOUS DUO IS HERE! ONE'S GOT STRENGTH, ONE'S GOT GRACE AND EVERYONE'S GOT THE LOVE!"

Krillin looked at the double pink helipcopter with his trap wide open.

"Man, I gotta have one of those! Pink is my favourite colour!"

Then some lame music played from the loud speakers of the helicopter, and Cell rolled his eyes, remembering he said that ANYONE who's ANYONE could enter the damn tournament. And clearly these girls were a bunch of nobodies. A blonde dude in a white skin tight gi with a rose in his mouth jumped out of the helicopter, closely followed by some fat guy in a wrestling suit landig on his fat ass and bouncing back onto his feet. (now THAT'S handy). Then, out came a woman aged in her twenties in a red dress and dark purple gloves with orange hair jumped out and landed on the fat guy's head, and they were both knocked over. The blonde dude snicked behind his red rose, which was held up against his face.

"Must be national goofball day," say Krillin, who should speak for himself ... poor guy ... anyhoover, the two random looking human dudes got into their pose in front of Hercule.

"We are the students of Hercule!" yelled the fat guy in a Romanian accent. (I don't know if he is Romanian but it sounds like it). The blonde guy took his place in front of the camera, with his rose.

"Gaze upon me ... I'm Coroni," he said, trying to be sexy because he just ain't ...

"GRRRRRRRR! AND I AM THE STUPID, UH I MEAN STUPENDOUS POWERMAN, PIROSHKI!" yelled the fat guym flexing his flab.

"Could these be the amazing and powerful men of Hercule?" asked Jimmy, already knowing the answer.

"That's right, Jimmy!" said the woman walking over to them swinging her hips around WAY to much, also trying to look sexy, like the tart she is. "These are Hercule's top students of Hercule's martial arts watjamacallit. This is Piroshki, and that is the speedster Coroni!"

"Ooooooh, and who are you?" asked Jimmy ajusting his glasses and falling for her figure just like the rest of em.

"Well, _I_ am their ABSOLOUTLEY SPECTACULAR manger, Ms Pizza!" she said.

"WEEEELLLL, LAIES AND GENTLE MEN WE HAVE SOME NEW CHALLENGERS! AND THIS DYNAMITE DUO WLL REPLACE OUR CHAMPION, HERCULE, IN ROUND ONE. WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS! AND THE FIRST OF CELL'S CHALLENGERS, in the white spandex jump suit, THE LOVELY, CORONI!"

"Since this is the first time we've got to fight, I'll be gentle ... " said Coroni, with his bouquet of roses, throwing them up in the air, and looking at the androif through the petals. "Those are for you ... "

"Hey Coroni," said Cell.

"Yes?"

"You gay?"

"Well yes actually, why do you ask?"

Cell's eyes indicated him to look behind him. Coroni had a horrifying look on his face when he realised he had just sid that live on TV. Cell raised an eyebrow while Goku laughed his butt off. Coronis eyes swelled up with tears.

"WAAAAAAHHAAAAAHAAAAAAA! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME ADMIT IT! NOOOOHOOOHOOOO!"

"I had always considered Coroni to be the son I never had. But it's a shame that he wasn't as straight as his father," said Hercule, sticking his nose in, as Coroni sniffled and stepped off the ring.

"It looks like Coroni has forfitted the match, which means that Piroshki is next to fight Cell!" yelled Jimmy.

Piroshki got the hell up there and ate his own hat. Everyone seemed to be impressed ... Vegeta thought his stomach was entirely doomed. Goku was so busy laughing that he didn't even notice that Cell was staring at him, but our best friend Gohan was trying to sneak looks at him out of curiosity. Piroshki started waving his arms around and lost his balance. Cell just stared at him with the famous 'wtf' look as Piroshki fell outside of the ring like a tone of anvils.

"He needs to gain his balance more. But i think that Cell planted magnets under the ring, because he's a cheater!" said the grease ball. Well at least PIROSHKI wasn't underestimating the mighty Cell as much as he was, the stupid ass person ... person. Gohan felt like pounding the guy. Nobody talked about Cell that way while HE was around! But he managed to hold back while Hercule got up to take on Cell.

"It looks like Hercule's had enough. He's stepping into the ring, to finish Cell of himself. He's taking off his cape ... and holding up his championship belt. The real battle is about to begin!" yelled Jimmy.

(okay, screw the tile part because I think that it's a waste of time ... on with the ... ahem, and I quote "battle")

"BWLAHARRAAAAHAAAA!" he growled has he ran over to the android. Cell put his arms down by his side, and felt a slight touch as Hercule slammed his foot into Cell's face.

"WOAH! It looks like Hercule's gone straight fo his dynamite kick. Cell just stared at him while he made absurd grunting noises as he got back into fighting stance. Hercule began to punch and pick with all his might, and Cell jsut plain stood there and mentally laughed at him a little as he looked very amusing, but at the same time, VEEEEEERRRRRYYYYYYY annoying. Hercule stood back again, and laughed maniacally (sp).

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! AND NOW FOR MY FINISH!"

"Cell was clearly irritated with the guy and smacked him really hard in the jaw, sending him flying half a mile away into a cliff. Goku laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed, and then shutup as he realised that it was his turn at last.

Goku stepped into the ring and Cell smiled, as he could FINALLY test his new powers, but he would have to put up with another very annoying guy. Then there was a small thud heard from the side of the ring. There stood a 5'3" tall 14 year old girl with long brown hair reaching her waste, tied into a bun, with big brown eyes and a black and white striped shirt, blue jeans, trainers, a long black coat and a microphone. She walked over to the Z Fighters.

"Right, since I'm the only one with a microphone who has the slightest clue about what's going on around here, let's get on with it. I'm Rebekah by the way," she said in her scouse accent. Cell looked at her. 'FINALLY a professional!' he thought.

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	12. SO MEAN!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 12: SO MEAN!**

Goku 'SLOWLY' stepped onto the ring. Cell was just stood there with his arms crossed, and just staring ahead, thinking aout how funny it was whern the found out that Coroni was gay. Rebekah took her place with the Z Fighters on one side of the ring.

"And in the next round, Cell will be facing Goku, the Super Saiyan and current chew attack (see The History Of Trunks) champion of the universe!" she stated.

Meanwhle, Jimmy was holding his lover, I mean microphone while shaking voilently.

"L-ladies and gentlemen ... th-the fate of the entire world rested upon the shoulders of Hercule. B-but now that he' s l-lost ... i-is it the end for m-mankind!" he stuttered. Krillin let out a sigh.

"Now here comes the part where Goku and Cell stare at each other for hours before they fight ..." he said. Gohan was busy staring at Cell so he didn't really listen to him. "I might aswell be talking to myself ... "

"Alright, Kakapants, let's see what you can do!" yelled Vegeta, not realising that he had said that out loud. "I was supposed to be thinking that, WHAT'S HAPPENING??"

"VEGETA, SHUT UP!!!!" yelled Piccolo, while Gohan rubbed his ears.

"Keep it down, guys, they're trying to stare at each other!" said Trunks, shutting them all up again. Meanwhile, Cell decided to UNfold his arms today.

"As I'm sure you know by now, I've been waiting for this. Killing the helpless soon grows old. I'm couting on you for amusement while I test my body!" said the android as he got into fighting stance.

"That's because you're MEAN!" yelled Goku, who also prepared to fight.

"Perfection."

"Ass hole."

"I don't see Herbert around ... "

Goku felt the tears coming for his old cockroach friend, but snapped out of it when jolly ol' Rebekah decided to comment on the current events.

"OKay? Again, I say ... and in the FIRST round ... " she said as she hinted her eyebrows over to Hercule's clan, emphasising the word 'first', " ... Cell will face Kakapan - I mean, Goku."

"Gargh aargh ... " moaned the chump - uh, CHAMP, as he waddled over to Jimmy.

"Wah? Hercule! May I ask what happened with you there in the ring?" he said holding up his microphone.

"Aargh ... uh ... it's no big deal, I just tripped over my shoe laces, that's all."

"You ... tripped over your shoe laces?"

"YES I DID!"

Tien looked over to Hercule ... "Man, he acts just like Piccolo sometmes ... "

"Okay?" said Jimmy.

"Hmm, hmm, hmmm! Don't worry, once I have some time to relace my boots, I'll get back in there and crush that whimp! NOW WHO RULES!"

Vegeta looked at him.

"That ridiculous guy doesn't realise his weakness ... his stupidity is beyond belief!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Trunks was very determined to see the fight. 'Stupid ass disadvantage stupid stupid stupid ... etc ... '

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! If you're just tuning in, we have great news! Hercule confided in me that he simply tripped over his shoe laces, so after he relaces his boots, he'll be back for more! Now Cell's challenger will be the cocky guy with the big hair. But stay where you are, people, because this little scrap shouldn't take long! Hercule, any comments on the fight? Or maybe some advice for the challenger?"

"Well, all I have to say, is that he'd better have a stretcher and an amblance standing by! If I were fighting that guy, I'd beat him into a pretzel and eat him for lunch! BUT luckily for him, I'm on a strict diet!"

"Haha, I hope he has a health plan!"

"But, really, it's good that he's fighting because it'll make MY fight look even better! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"Ding!"

Goku darted forward and threw a kick at Cell, who blocked it with his arm, then he went to punch him but Cell caught his fist, then ducked under to try and trip him up. Goku jumped up and swung round to kick his in the face, but Cell slid onto one hand and swund his leg round, forcing Goku to jump back into a handstand, and he did back flips all the way back to the edge of the ring and disappeared. Cell stood up and ducked as Goku's foot rematerialised above his head. Cell caught Goku's elbow and threw him forward. Goku came back at him, and they began fighting again. Cell punched Goku in the face, who then kicked him as he fell back. They landed back were they started and smiled at each other.

"Guuuuuuuh?"

The idiot clan all had their jaws on the ground.

"The challenger seems to be tougher than we thought. Hercule, any comments? Hercule?"

"Uuuh, oh yeah, the fight, right. Well uh, I think it's a good fight, but I could still beat them both with one hand tied behing my back, hehe?"

Hercule's word's were cut off when Goku blocked a kick, and flipped backwards. Cell went after him and tried to punch him, but Goku flew HHHIIIIGGGGHHHHHH into the sky and ... disappeared. Everybody began looking for Goku, as Cell stood up and started waving him arms around and nothing, until he kicked out, and Goku rematerialised as he landed. Goku fle straight at him. Cell put his arms up to block, but Goku went straight threw him.

"Huh?" he said as he dropped his arms, but that was a very bad move as Goku planted his fist into Cell's stomach and forced him to the edge of the ring. Goku jumped up and kicked Cell out of the ring. Yamcha's face lit up.

"Look he's out."

"Hey you're right!"

Cell then stopped in mid air and flew back onto the ring.

"Now, now, Goku. It isn't over yet."

"Aaaw, but I'm hungry!"

"Tough. You aren't eating until this match is finished.

"Aaw, come on, please?"

"GOKU, YOU MORON! SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" yelled Piccolo.

"WHY ARE YOU BULLYING ME!"

"Goku, ignore him ... " said Cell, giving some friendly advice from the evilness of his heart. Not for Goku, but because he was bored and has been for the last nine and a half days.

Cell lunged forward and kicked at Goku, who ducked and tried it himself. The pair of them disappeared. The Z Fighters were going crazy because their heds were twisting and turning as they followed them, and eventually, Tien fell onto his backside. Goku and Cell appeared above them, shattering the ground as dust flew evrywhere and everyone except Krillin started sneezing because the guys doesn't have a nose. They disappeared again, this time apearing in mid air holding hands. Gohan was ready to kick his father's ass in until Goku kicked him into the air and elbowed him in the back and sent him flying to the ground. Cell looked up at him laughing. Goku frowned

"YOU'RE SO MEAN, CELL!"

They struck the ground and began figthing again. Cell to force Goku to the edge of the ring. Eventually Goku was having trouble balancing and disappeared as Cell threw one last punch. Cell was left in front of the Z fighters, staring at Gohan, who blushed a little. But when he looked up, he was looking at Goku. 'Damn!'

"Stop cheating!" Cell charged at Goku and head butted him. Goku ducked down and kicked him into the air.

"Kaaa - meeee - haaaa - meeee - haaaaaa!!"

Cell deflected the small blast away, but Goku shoved his fist into cell's back. Cell returned it in Goku's face, then sent Goku dropping like a brick. Goku didn't have time to do anything and landed on his backside, making a little crater. Cell landed in front of him.

"Goku, you damaged my ring. You should REALLY go on a diet!"

"YOU'RE SO FRIGGIN' MEAN!!!!!"

Goku decided to power up at last.

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	13. Surprise!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 13: Surprise!**

"And now, the 'real' battle can start! Goku is now constipated, and must use the toilet, or he'll fart!" yelled Rebekah over the noisy rocks smashing around.

"Hey, Tabitha, he's just powering up, you know!" yelled Yamcha. Rebekah knocked him out temporarely.

"It's Rebekah! Anyone else want to be a marcher today?! Hmm?!" she protested, glaring at the Z Fighters. They all mumbled a 'no'. "Yay, I win!"

"HHHHHHHRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

Goku stood there while glowing gold. Jimmy sat on his ass looking at the cocky guy with the big hair, adjusting his glasses.

"He can't realy be glowi - Yep! He's glowing alright! My friends, could this newcomer be battery powered or does he possess an an unworldly power that you and i could never comprehend??!"

"HA! It's a trick!" yelled the chump GARGH! - ch-A-mp as he popped up from behind Pizza, burger and fries. (I just had to put that)

Then Cell powered up in about five seconds. Everybody was literally blown away apart from Gohan, who was blown away metaphorically. Gohan just stared at Cell, ignoring his idiot father. 'Man, he's hot! Gohan, you have to stop thinking about this!' he thought.

"Now Cell is glowing like the other guy!" yelled Jimmy.

"It's just another trick!" Hercule, Pizza and Jimmy looked behind them to see Coroni hugging Piroshki while shivering in fright. "Coroni, will you save it!"

Coroni shook his head.

"Ladies and gentleman, something unusual is happening here, the challenger has dropped his guard and he's closing the gap betweeb himself. What could he possibly achieve from this bizarre maneouver?" (sp!)

Goku stood right in front of him and looked into his eyes. Gohan was getting jealous ... and Trunks was moaning over his disadvantage.

"Your move, crybaby ... "

"MEANY!"

Goku followed his lame come back with a punch to Cell's stomach, then he slammed his elbow into his head. He then kicked and punched him to the floor, where cell bounced back up again and stopped in mid air.

"Wow! Why are you all upside down?"

"You're the one who's upside down, ass hole!"

"Hm. Anyway, good work Goku. AT LAST, a worthy apponent. Since our powers are 'almost' equal, it should be an interesting match. Wouldn't you say?"

"KAKAPANTS! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET SO STRONG, HUH?!"

Everyone looked at Vegeta. Vegeta new there was something wrong.

"What, I can't even think to myself anymore?! DAMN IT!!"

Goku and Cel began fighting again, despite the ranting. Goku tripped Cell up, and the android looked as if he were going to fall face fist into Goku's fist (try saying that five times when you're drunk). Cell disappeared and tried punching Goku in the back. Goku chickened out and disappeared. The two of them began fighting again. In the end, Goku punched cell in the face and he was thrown across the ring. Rebekah began to speak ...

"And .. as you can see, the two of them have amazing speed and agility, powers almost equal and blah blah blah ... " she stated, while sitting in her deck chair with her toffee covered popcorn and pepsi.

"Hey Dave, did you get all that?" asked Jimmy.

"Yeah, every friggin' gesture!" he answered sarcastically.

"REALLY?!"

"No way. I'm only human, how am I supposed to shoot then if they move that fast? Huh?"

"Okay, I guess you're right. Let's get a professional opinion from Earth's greatest fighter. Hercule, what do you think about this action packed match so far? Hmm?"

Hercule still had his eyes on Goku.

"Guh, not bad. Hahahaa!"

"Ok-ay. Hercule, ladies and gentlemen, and now let's get back to the action inside the ring."

Goku was glaring at Cell, who then started laughing hysterically.

"What?!"

"You've not noticed yet have you?!" he chuckled.

"WHAT? TELL ME! Oh ... "

Goku noticed that his fly was unzipped and fixed that while being thoroughly embarressed on TV. Chi-Chi slapped her forehead. Gohan looked like he was going to murder somebody at any moment, and Trunks was ... cursing his ass.

"Not that!" said Cell with digust. "I've got a surprise for you!"

Cell seperated into four bodies.

"How do you like these odds?"

"CHEATER!"

"Hey, do I make a good surround sound system?"

"No, you're just ... uh ... MEAN!"

"Goku, co-operate, please?"

They began fighting again. Goku knocked all four of them into the ground in one go, because Tien reminded us all that Cell was weaker since he was divided into four.

"Cell's down!" yelled Krillin. "ALRIGHT!"

Gohan looked devestated, but then smiled again when he noticed that Cell was just messing around. 'I was worried sick about you, you idiot!' he thought, but then realised that Krillin and Yamcha were still doin the tango.

"Hey, Romeo and Juliet! Cell's just playing around. He's just having a break, that's all!" yelled Vegeta. Cell got up, and smiled again.

"Kienzan disc!"

The disc followed Goku around the ring, while Cell was pretending to direct it, but was really perfecting his moves for th Laker Girls cheerleading team.

"Ha! Nice try Goku. The cell from Frieza that's inside me tells me that you're trying to draw that disc back this way. No chance, idiot!"

Cell threw another disc at him and Goku was chopped in half. But it was just an after-image.

"What? It went right through him! This time, I'll finish you off for good!"

Cell tried the same technique again, with his little dance.

Goku just stood there, staring at him.

"There's now way tthat you can beat me with your stolen fighting techniques. Now give up."

"How about no. It's over when I say it's over."

Cell powered up.

"Kaaa -meeeeeeeee - haaaaaaaaaa - meeeeeeeee - haaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Uh oh!"

Cell shot the powerful blue light thing at Goku, who flew up into the air.

"HEY CELL, UP HERE!"

The blast followed Goku into the sky. It disappeared into space, and Cell looked a little more satisfied.

"Oh man! I got dust in my eye. "DAMN YOU, DISADVANTAGE, YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" yelled Trunks with just one eye open.

"Our two - " started Jimmy.

"I'LL handle this!" said Rebekah. "Our two warriors are still standing, so this match isn't over yet. Let's see what happens: next time on Dragonball Z!!!"

"Hold on!" yelled Cell. "Goku, how did you disappear and reappear again."

"Oh, uh, a new technique. The instant transmission."

"Instant, huh? Sounds like a useful little maneouver."

"Yeah, it is!"

"Whatever!"

Cell lunged at Goku and elbowed him to the ground. Goku got up again and scanned the area for the android.

"He's increased his speed. I can't see him anywhere!!"

"Am I too fast for you, Goku? Carry on, Rebekah ... "

"And the crafty android has done it again, by increasing his speed, and this episode comes to a close, and whatever ... see you in the next chapter. BYE!"

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	14. Cell Blows Up The Ring o0!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**I'm sorry to bug you guys, but I WANT REVIEWS! It takes ages typing these chapters up you know because I'm busy.  
Thank you ...**

**Chapter 14: Cell Blows Up The Ring o.0?!**

"LAST TIME! On Dragonball Z ... you know what happened," said Rebekah, who seemed as if she was slowl dying of boredom.

Goku and Cell kept on fighting, while everybody, except Vegeta were keeping their thoughts to themselves ...

'Come on Goku, don't let my disadvantage get you down, because it's already affaected me. STUPID CELL, THINKS HE CAN BEAT ME JUST BECAUSE BY MIGTY BUG FIGHTING SKILLS DON'T EXACTLY MATCH UP TO YOURS!" thought Trunks.

'I need the bathroom ... BAD! Come on, Goku kick his ass and stop playing around!' thought Tien.

'Man, Cell's ... good! The design of this ring is ... phenomenal ... !' thought Krillin.

'GOKU YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE SUCH A WUSS WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING. NO WONDER YOU THOUGHT FRIEZA WAS A WOMAN AND ALMOST DATED HIM ON NAMEK!' thought Piccolo.

The fighting carried on and dust flew EVERYWHERE!

"Wow, they're fast!" said Krillin. "Look at them go ... "

'Dad, you're not even trying!' thought Gohan.

Meanwhile ...

"DO NOT ajust your television sets, ladies and gentlemen, for these to fighters are moving faster than the human eye can see, honest!" said Jimmy.

'Then how come I can see them?! Wusses ... ' thought Rebekah.

"Uh, say Champ, these guys aren't ameteurs, are they?"

SMACK!

Goku was knocked backwards by Cell's fist. He was punched over and over again in the nose, then he ducked and kicked Cell into the sky. He went to hit him again, but Cell disappeared.

"Where's Cell?!" yelled Jimmy.

Cell went to hit Goku, but Goku disappeared, then went to kick Cell, but then he vanished ...

"And this is the part, where we all wait until they come down!" said Rebekah, with a mouth full of popcorn.

"THERE THEY ARE!" yelled Hercule. "THEY'RE HIDING RIGHT THERE IN THAT BROKEN PART OF THE RING!"

"Ssssuuuuuuuuurrrrrreeeee they are ... " said Jimmy uneasily.

"YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIGHT CELL, I WON'T BE FOOL BY HIS SILLY TRICKS!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, remember, you heard it hear from Hercule, our champion!"

Cell carried on playing around, while Goku was loosing his rag because cell wouldn't stay down. Pizza looked into the sky suspiciously.

"Hey, they're up there!" she said, realising the it ISN'T a trick.

At the lookout ...

"Man, I can't focus, there's too much on my mind right now!" said Dende.

"Dende, you sure do remind me of Kami, because he used to stand at that very spot, watching over the Earth ... "

"That's not what I mean, Popo! Gohan gave me this math puzzle and I just can't figure it out. What is Pie, anyway?!"

"Dende, forget about the puzzle, and focus on the battle."

"Yeah, I know. Goku and Cell are fighting, and neither of them are thinking about giving up! I think ... "

Back on Earth ...

Goku was being forced to the ground by Cell. They reappeared at the side of the ring, and Cell threw a punch at the super saiyan, who jumped out of the way.

"Goku, don't give up!" cried krillin.

"Dad, hang on!"

"To what though?"

"Good point ... "

Goku landed back on the edge. Cell tried to trip him up, but Goku flipped ver his shoulder and kicked him towards the edge. Cell disappeared and blocked a kick from Goku. They fought again, but Cell threw his fist into the ring, and they kicked each other in the face. They both flipped over and disappeared into the air again. Cell ended up in the sky behind Goku, and the saiyan turned around as they began their staring contest.

"You almost fell out of the ring. If you had, I would have been declared the winner of this little match of ours. Is the game to hard for you, crybaby? Should I make it easier?" Cell got his hand into position.

"Hold it, dude! What are you doing?" yelled Goku waving his arms around to get attention.

"I'm tired of being confined to that ring, anyhow. Oh yeah, and you might want to tell your friends to, ahem, clear the area ... "

"I don't get ... "

Rebekah then realised what Cell was talking about.

"Will all contestants please run like hell ... Cell has decided to blow up the ring!" she cried, running away with her deck chair under her arm. Vegeta moved away in SLOW motion.

"Muscles .. too ... heavy ... "

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Cell blew up the ring!

"How do you like that, Goku. Now the entire desert is our ring! How about the last one who's standing, wins the game? Hm?"

"Oooooh, a fight to the finish! Oh boy, oh boy oh boy oh boy!" laughed Goku. Running around in circles and waving his arms around happily.

'Man, he's eager to die ... ' thought Cell, raising an eyebrow.

Goku never saw it coming. Hundrds of tiny yellow blasts followed him everywhere.

"GOKU, YOU'D BETTER KICK HIS ASS, OR I'LL EAT YOU UP!" barked Piccolo.

Goku jumped in and shot his own blue blasts. His and Cell's blasts met in the middle and there was a huge explosion.

"WOW! Did you see that!?" yelled Jimmy.

"WELL DUUUUUH!" shouted Coroni, holding onto Piroshki.

Goku and Cell began holding hands again. Gohan was really pissed off now ...

'Dad! He's mine, you traitor - when will I get over myself!'

The ground began shredding beneath them as both cell and goku were pushing forward, like a tug-of-war in reverse. Cell punched Goku in the face, then vice versa. They began fighting again. Goku knocked Cell into the ground. Cell burrowed through the rocks and jumped bck onto the surafce with his arms out in front of him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Cell shot at Goku. Goku flew up into the sky again, while Cell was preparing for what was to come next. Goku threw his wrists together.

"KAAAA - MEEEEEEE - "

"Goku, why are you so stupid all the time, huh?" asked Cell.

'At least SOMEBODY realises that. It's why I love you, doofus!' thought Gohan. Krillin began to look nervous.

"He wouldn't ... "

"HAAAAA - MEEEEEEE - "

"He would ... " they all said.

Suddenly, Goku disappeared into thin air.

"Uuuh, where did he go?"

Cell shut up when Goku appeared in front of him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Everybody was left shocked after witnessing the blast at such a close range. The dust cleared to show Cell without arms, wings ... or a head ...

"And, Goku has blown Cell's head off, for those of you who really didn't want to see that ... " said Rebekah, setting up her chair again.

"Phew ... uh EEEEW!" yelled Goku, seeing the consequences of what he had done.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	15. Loads And Loads

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 15: Loads And Loads**

"And cell is lying on the floor without a head. This is VERY entertaining and quite interesting, I must say ... " said rebekah with a mouth full of toffee popcorn.

Goku was still in Kamehameha stance huffing and puffing.

"You know, Kakapants, you can stand up straight now. You did it ... "

"Oh yeah!"

"Did you see that? Goku blasted cell into pieces. Nobody could survive the kamehameha at that close range!" said Yamcha.

"You're right, yamcha. That move has won Goku the tournament!" replied Tien.

"Ahem, who is the one with the microphone?" stated Rebekah.

"Oh, sorry ... "

"OH YEAH! I WON! IN YOU'RE FACE MEANY! WOO HOOO! I DID IT!"

Luckily, in this story, Krillin is still sane ...

"GET AWAY FROM HIM, GOKU! CELL'S GOING TO REGENERATE HIMSELF!"

"WAH?!"

Goku stopped pratting around, and stood still in curiosity in front of cell's body. It still had a lot of energy inside it. To everyone's surprise, Krillin was right for once. Cell jumped back onto his feet.

SLOSCH!

Cell's head, arms and wings popped out of his remains. Cell chuckled while Goku pouted and stamped his feet. Jimmy was like ... wtf?!

"Oh my! Cell just sprouted another head! Hercule!? Is this another one of cell's tricks?!" yelld Jimmy. Hercule remained silent, while Pizza spoke for him.

"Of course it's a trick! It has to be!" she moaned.

Cell stood in front of Goku getting used to his new head and to see if it was working.

"Damn, you ... you chicken! Why did you go and regenerate yourself! But but but ... your powers decreased and stuff ... why bother?!"

"Your the one with your fly unzipped!"

"SHUT UP! WHY DO YOU DO THAT!?"

"Because I want to kill you. You're having trouble catching your breath and you put most of your energy into that blast, which means that your power is drained so your fight is over.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU ... JAM TOAST!"

"I'll show ou then, ass hole ... "

"FLAMING FISHSTICKS! THE CELL GAME WILL GO ON! WHO WILL TAKE THE TOURNAMENT TITLE NOW?!"

Goku was thoroughly pissed off and he charged at Cell but missed. They started fighting again, destroying the area around them.

"CELL'S COME OUT SWINGING, AND THE UNKNOWN CHALLENGER SEMS TO BE USING HIS FACE TO BLOCK! THAT'S GOTTA HURT!"

At Kame House ...

"COME ON, GOKU! WHO THE HELL TAUGHT YOU TO FIGHT, ANYWAY! Oh yeah ... I did ... heh!" said Master Roshi.

"Hellooooooooo!" said bulma as she walked into the kame house carrying baby Trunks. "We've come over to watch the tournament with you guys!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Bulma tried to calm her baby down.

Meanwhile, the battle was beginning to become more brutal as cell was slowly gaining the upper hand. Rebekah cracked up when they punched each other in the face at the same time.

"Is this battle to much for you, Goku?" asked Cell.

"NO IT'S NOT!"

Cell rolled his eyes and kicked Goku in the crotch. Goku was like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! o.0?! Cell picked him up by his shirt.

SMACK!

Cell sent Goku into a pile of rocks. Cell moved in for the kill, but Goku broke free, and was REEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYY pissed off now ... Cell had to stop to dodge the dozens of rocks flying towards him.

"HIYAAA!"

Goku shot loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of little blasts at Cell.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Cell was getting tired of toying around with the super saiyan.

Goku carried on shooting loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of little blasts.

Then he gave up, when cell started making fun of him because he was a wuss ... -.-' ...

"KAKAPANTS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SHOOT LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS OF BLASTS HUH?!" yelled Vegeta.

Goku powered down.

"You win Cell, I give up!"

"Figures ... "

"WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	16. Everyone Except Vegeta

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 16: Everyone Except Vegeta**

"You win, Cell, I give up!"

"Yeah! I heard you the first time, but ... you must be joking! You can't ... just give up and expect to walk away!" said Cell.

"Sure I can! I'm doing it now!"

"You are such a coward!"

"And you're MEAN!"

"Oh, come on, Yamcha could think of a better comeback!"

"OH YEAH!"

"Yah, adn you're fly's still open!"

"Come on Cell, do you think I'm stupid!"

"Well, yeah. But you're fly ... "

"I'm not gonna fall for it!"

Jimmy raised his head.

"Hey, what's going on out there? Can you hear what they're saying?" he asked. Dave looked at him.

"Well YOU'RE the reporter, I'm the camera man."

"I see you're point, Dave, but what are they saying."

"Sounds like this guy's giving up."

Hercule's face suddenly went POP!

"It figures. That little pain, I'm suprised that punk lasted as long as he did."

Cell looked down at the saiyan.

"Well, Goku, I hope you fully appreciate the consequences of your actions. You may quit if you wish, but if there's no one left to fight me, than I will reduce this entire planet to rubble!"

"Not so fast, dude!" said Goku holding up one finger, and closing his eyes, pretending to be sixteen again. "I may be quitting, but that doesn't mean that there's no one left to fight you!"

"Who? One of them?!" laughed Cell, looking at the Z Fighters. "And which one of these pitiful specimens did you have in mind, Goku? Who? Trunks? Piccolo? Vegeta? Please, don't waste my time!"

Jimmy suddenly popped out from nowhere.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH HAS FINALLY ARRIVED! HERCULE, VS CELL!"

Hercule looked green. "Uh .. y-yeah! The first thing I'm gonna do, is plant my foot up that freak's backside!"

The idiot clan clapped, until Hercule keeled over in 'pain'.

"GGGAAAAAAHH! Oh, I really do want to take on Cell, but I have this stomach ache . OOH the PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sooo, you don't mind who I pick to fight next do you??" asked Goku hopefully. "Puuullllleeeeeeeezzzz!"

"Oh, go ahead, you baby ... "

Goku 'hmphed' and turned his back to Cell.

"HEY GOHAN! FIGHT CELL!"

"BWAH?!" yelled Gohan.

"That fool! he's going to get his own son killed?!" Vegeta looked at the others. "That was SUPPOSED to be a thought, you know! Mind your own business!"

Piccolo looked like he was going to have a cow ...

"GOKU YOU IDIOT!"

'He wants me to fight?! But I don't want to, I mean, I don't want to hurt Cell ... aw, who am I kidding! My dad will just come up with some lame speech that I've heard a thousand times to make me do it anyway ... ' thought Gohan.

Goku landed in front of Gohan.

"You can do it, right, son?"

"Me?? Fight with Cell??"

"What the?? He wants me to babysit a toddler ... GOKU, YOU'RE A WUSS!"

"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU, YOU ... YOU ... YOU ... MOOSE HEAD!!"

"That's the best you can come up with?"

"SHUT UP!" Goku jumped up and down pouting and stomped his feet.

"GOKU, YOU IDIOT! YOU KNOW, IF GOHAN FIGHTS WITH CELL, HE'S GOING TO DIE!" yelled Piccolo. Gohan slapped his forehead in embarressment once again ...

"Listen, Gohan has a power hidden within him that your eye can't even begin to imagine. Haven't you noticed that he's been keeping up with us ever since he was a little boy?"

Krillin also back him up.

"Look, Goku, we all know that Gohan's strong for his age, but ... but fighting Cell?"

"Trust me on this!!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A WUSS!"

"Stop bullying me!!" Goku ran away behind a rock. "WAAAAAAA!!"

Gohan rolled his eyes.

"Oh for kami's sake, I'll do it!!" shouted Gohan. He removed his cape and flew over to the battle field. Gohan nervously looked up at him.

"Hey! How come he gets to fight at full power, and I don't, huh??"

Goku appeared from his little corner and snatched the senzu beans from Krillin.

"WELL TAKE THIS SENZU BEAN AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!"

So Cell did so ... not really ... he ate the senzu bean and powered up.

'Man, he's dreamy ... ' thought the demi-saiyan.

"So, child, are you ready?"

Gohan powered up ...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

This went on for a few minutes ...

'Oh! I'm starting the thought chain ... stupid disadvantage! It won't even let me think about ...' thought Trunks.

' ... Gohan ... he's ... he's ... ' thought Krillin.

' ... stupider than usual ... there's Goku for you ... ' thought Android 16.

' ... BECAUSE HE'S SUCH A WUSS AND ... ' thought Piccolo.

' ... I wonder if Chiaotzu wants to come to Lunch's birthday party next week ... ' thought Tien.

' ... and I just HAD to have a moment to stop thinking about sex ... ' thought Yamcha.

' ... because I'm huuunnngggrrryyyy and I just wanted to know if ... ' thought Goku.

' ... I have to babysit this stupid kid until Goku decides to put 'em up before I ... ' thought Cell.

' ... go up to Cell and kiss him! No! Maybe I should ... ' thought Gohan.

' ... try and see if I can get a raise or a hazard pay for doing this because ... ' thought Dave.

' ... I was thinking about asking Piroshki to come to dinner with me tomorrow, but ... ' thought Coroni.

' ... I have to go on a diet after ... ' thought Piroshki.

' ... the Cell games are finished, I'd better recount me money, and ... ' thought Hercule.

' ... get married to my microphone as I ... ' thought Jimmy.

' ... buy a new car, because I'm a stuck up tight ass with no sense of fun, and ... ' thought Pizza.

" ... I WISH I COULD THINK WITH YOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed Vegeta.

"Well! I see Goku wasn't entirely bluffing about his son's strenth. Though it was a bit of an exaggeration to say that he was stronger than me, but oh well ... "

Cell landed next to Gohan. gohan turned to face him with a tough face on, but once again ...

' ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ... oh my god ... ' thought Gohan.

' ... I soooo need to get a life ... ' thougth Yamcha.

' ... AND A NEW CAPE ... ' thougth Piccolo.

' ... and a plastic surgeon to remove my third eye ... ' thought Tien.

' ... and some FOOOOD ... ' thought Goku.

' ... and something to stop me thinking about my stupid ass disadvantage ... ' thought Trunks.

' ... and a new hair cut ... ' thought Android 16.

' ... and maybe a girlfriend ... ' thought Krillin.

' ... and an exuse to make out with Cell ... ' thougth Gohan.

' ... and hmmm, how about A FIGHT WITH GOKU ... ' thougth Cell.

' ... with some mayonnaise on my tuna sandwhich ... ' thought Dave.

' ... and a honeymoon ... ' thougth Jimmy.

' ... and MORE money ... ' thought Hercule.

' ... and some new thongs ... ' thought Pizza.

' ... and, oh! A new pink spandez jump suit ... ' thought Coroni.

' ... and some salads ... ' thougth Piroshki.

"JUST START THE FIGHT ALREADY!! I FEEL UNWANTED!!" creid Vegeta.

"Well technically speaking .. " said Tien.

"Be quiet!"

Cell kicked at Gohan, and he blocked. He kicked again, and soon they were playing around with thier punching. Cell flew to one side then dived into Gohan, who flew into the air. Cell went after him, and beat him to the cloud that looked like Fizz from the tweenies. Cell threw yet ANOTHER kick at Gohan. Gohan landed on the ground keeping an eye on his opponent.

"Incredible! This young lad has actually began to fight with Cell!" said Jimmy.

Cell slammed his fit into the ground, as Gohan flew up wards into the sky. Cell followed him, and they were soon playing dodge'ems, until they paused for breath.

"You're pretty fast, arn't you? What do you say we try to kick things up a noch or two?"

Cell darted forward and grabbed Gohan shirt. Gohan was left helpless as cell started pounding him in the face. Cell eventually let him go, and kicked him to the ground.Gohan got up smirking, and prepared to fight. Cell looked thoroughly impressed with the boy's attitude towards this fight.

**o.0?! What will happen next??**

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	17. Gohan! It Ain't Gonna Happen!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Thanks for reviewing, everybody! Keep em coming! xxxxxx**

**Chapter 17: Gohan! It Ain't Gonna Happen!**

Gohan stood there as ready as ... as ready as ... well, let's face it, he wasn't. Rebekah woke up in her deck chair, as she fell asleep in the last chapter ...

"Gohan?! Did i miss anything?" Cell looked at her.

"Yeah, the thought chain!" he laughed. Everybody laughed with him, except Vegeta of course ...

"CELL YOU'RE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE!!"

"I know ... "

Rebekah raised an eyebrow.

"Okay? Let's carry on with the fight that I don't know about, then," she stated as she sat down, yawning.

Cell turned to Gohan, who cut out his everlasting gaze upon Cell, and put his tough-boy face on again.

"Well, Gohan, I see you're ready ... for rrrooooouuuunnnnndddd TWO!!"

Gohan got ready to fight. Krillin looked on in worry.

"Will someone PLEASE tell me we're gonna get Gohan outta there? Somebody? ANYBODY?!" Krillin looked as if he was going to lose his sanity like the rest of us, but remembered that he was the only thing 'normal' in this story, so he decided to stop and he kept his cool ...

Cell walked up to the young super saiyan.

"I - I'm ready when you are, you creep!" said Gohan. Cell smirked at him and jumped into the air. He began firing blasts at him.

'Okay, I take it back! You're not a creep - you're sexy! And I ... ' thougth Gohan.

' ... never thought that I WOULD still be a virgin, knowing me, and ... " thougth Yamcha.

' ... this disadvantage is really - '

"SHUTUP!!" yelled Vegeta.

Cell reappeared behind Gohan and punched him in the face. Then he kicked him and flipped over Gohan. Cell jumped at Gohan and went to punch him again, but Gohan flew into the air. Cell appeared in front of him and kicked at him, but missed and then they both landed and confronted each other on the ground again. Cell lunged at Gohan and clobbered him on the head, then kicked him into the air. Cell followed him and punched him him the face (why is it ALWAYS the face?! Huh?!). The Z Fighters looked on in horror as Cell put hi shand out. Piccolo looked like he was about to give birth to a fully grown elephant ...

"GOHAN, YOU IDIOT!!"

"Good fight, kid. But like all good things, it must come to an end ... "

Cell blasted a screaming Gohan into the rocky hill behind him. Gohan was buried underneath it.

"That was almost too easy. Then yet again, it always is."

Jimmy swallowed.

"Oh ... the horror, ladies and gentlemen ... our valiant young delivery boy has surely met his end, buried beneath tones and tones of solid rock!"

"GOKU YOU WUSS! WE TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN! GOHAN WAS NO MATCH FOR HIM. YOUR SON'S DEAD, DUDE! HE'S DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

"Wrong! Can't you sense his energy, he's fine?"

"Well, Goku. It would appear that I have won! Now are you going to fight me, or not?!"

"Heck no! Take a look behind you!!"

"What?!"

BOOOOOM!

Gohan emerged from the rocks, and confidently walked right up to Cell.

"Well, it seems I misjudged you. It seems you've got a lot more nerve than I gave you credit for .. "

"We don't have to do this ... this fight, Cell, it's meaningless ... "

"Hold on a mo ... you think that I should stop my Cell Games just because YOU think they're meaningless?!"

"Well - yeah?"

"Well - think again. Let me explain something to you - if you don't fight me then I will destroy the earth! Now how's that for meaning?"

"I'm telling you, I don't want to fight anymore, cell. Even though you're evil, I have no desire to kill you ... this is stupid senseless violence!"

"And?"

Gohan hung his head down in defeat. He managed to sneak a look at Cell, who was waiting for an answer. Gohan still had his head down and looked at the android sheepishly ...

"Do you wanna make out with me?" Cell glared at him.

"Gohan, don't change the sudbje - what?"

"U-uh ... nothing?"

"Gohan, don't play dumb, what the hell did you mean by that?"

"U-uh ... I ... uh ... "

**What will Gohan say?? Find out next time ...**

**PLZ REVIEW!**

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**KIDDING!**

Gohan just decided not to blurt it out in front of everybody ...

"I'm waiting ... " said Cell, looking at his imaginary watch and tapping his foot.

"Guh ... oh!"

Gohan grabbed Cell's head and roughly kissed him. Cell pushed him away and Gohan stumbled backwards.

Piccolo's eyes just went WWIIIDDDDEEEEE!

"GOHAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Cell put a finger up to stop Gohan from coming any closer.

"Enough. Now tell me the real reason why I should stop fighting ... "

"Well, that was one of the reasons ... the other one is that, uh - "

"Yeah? Can we hurry it up because half the episode has been taken over by lines!"

"Okay ... I think it's important that you should know what's gonna happen if you push me ... years ago, a saiyan warrior named Raditz came to Earth. He was a lot like you, Cell he enjoyed hurting others. Especially my dad ... Raditz continued his ruthless torture and I was trapped, helpless inside his spaceship. But I could still hear my father scream. Each time my father cried in agony, my heart cried along with him. The pain I felt at not being able to help him was maddening. Then something happened ... something snapped. The pain I felt became so great that I lost myself in it. A furious blinding force began to surge through me. And I new only one thing: I had to help my dad ... no matter what. That was the first time a discovered my hidden power. But I still had no idea where it had come from or how to use it. Luckily, those were the things that Piccolo was determined to teach me. I think piccolo recognised my power for what it was. He knew the only way it would surface was if I was faced with a crisis so great, that I had no choice but to use it. This wasn't a voluntary decision on my part, but it was more like a feeling. A gut reaction to a situation that I couldn't control. Once again, I lost myself, and the power emerged. Piccolo knew this would happen. But I don't think even he expectedmy power to be as great as it was. I would have learned even more about my hidden abilities when we were fighting against Frieza on Namek ... Krillin was hurt really bad, but I knew that there was still a chance to save him. I tried to get to him as fast as I could, but before I had a chance to do anything, there stood Frieza ... laughing. Krillin, my friend, was sinking to the bottom of that lake, dying, and frieza, that cold-blooded moster, was enjoying it. I couldn't control what happened next. I attacked. I didn't care that Frieza was the most powerful fighter in the universe, I didn't care that he had the had the ability to destroy planets with a single finger, all I knew was that I had to help my friend. And the only way to him was through Frieza. I still don't know why it happened, my memories of those moments aren't really all that clear. I was lost in a raging storm of emotion. Unable to control my actions. It's like a switch had been pulled. Something deep inside me opened up, and nothing could stop my power raging. For those moments, I was an unstoppable force. Once unleashed, my power was enought o bring Frieza to his knees. That was a long itme ago, and since then I've got a lot stronger. My father thinks that I'm almost as strong as he is now. He took that into account, I think. I think he realised that if I were to be pushed too far, there's no telling how powerful I might become. And there's no telling what kid of damage a power like that might cause ... "

Gohan sighed and tried to catch his breath. Cell couldn't hold it in.

"TSSFFWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! An interesting story! But it didn't work! Well, it did, because I want to see you're hidden power now, nice one!"

Gohan hardly had anytime to panic as Cell threw a ferocious punch that smacked the teenager painfully in the face. Gohan quickly got into fighting stance as he skidded backwards a little. Gohan looked around him cautiously, but couldn't find his opponent. Cell reappeared behind Gohan and shoved his elbow into the back of his head, thrashing Gohan into the desert ground on his front. Cell then slammed his foot onto the young saiyan's head, pushing his face into the dirt.

"Get angry! I'm wiping my foot on your head! You're a door mat now!"

Cell lost his temper because Gohan didn't do anything except squirm. He picked the boy up by his hair.

"OH COME ON!"

Cell beat the crap out of Gohan, and slammed him back in to the rocks again. Gohan got up, looking a little ticked off. Cell kicked him again.

"Come on, show me your anger! DEFEND YOURSELF!"

"FFFFFIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!"

WHACK!

Gohan kicked Cell in the face.

Cell got up and wiped hi cheek.

"Ow ... " he said. "Goku, you wuss, you should discipline your child more!"

"(sniff) That was a really awful thing to saaayy WAAAAHAAAAAA!"

**PLZ REVIEW ... for real this time ...**


	18. 16's Chicken Is Delivered

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Okay, guys, its getting to that time of year, and I'm going to try and update as much as I can ... thank yoooo xx**

**Chapter 18: 16's Chicken Is Delivered**

"Okay! I'm going to try and stay awake through this part, sooo ... yeah ... " said Rebekah.

Gohan was pretending to be ready to fight ... well more likely thinking about giving Cell some lovin' but the guy won't take him seriously, so he'll have to hint now and again.

'You can do this, Gohan. Show everybody what an incredible fighter you are ... ' thought Goku.

"KAKAPANTS!!!!!"

"What?"

Vegeta stomped over to the noonoo mope dude and grabbed him by the shirt.

"STOP KEEPING YOUR DAMN THOUGHTS TO YOU RSELF!! IT HURTS!!"

He dropped Goku onto his backside. Goku sniffled and the tears starting coming.

"That's a very awful thing to ssaaaaaaaaaayy!!"

Goku got up and went blubbering behind a rock.

Meanwhile ...

"What's happening down there, Hercule? Is it bad?" asked the skank.

"Of course it's bad! This is no place for a child to be!" said the dude with the hair.

Dave aimed the camera at Jimmy.

"Uh - u- unless a hero is found to stop this terrible monster, everyone on Earth will be massacred!! Must we all put our faith in one fragile, helpless litlle boy?? THIS reporter hopes not!! Hercule, how's your stomach?"

"Bwah?"

"Your dreadful stomach virus. How is it?"

Hercue sheepishly clutched on to his stomach and began his ranting.

"YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SIT AND WHINE ABOUT IT LIKE A LITTLE SISSY, DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT STILL ISN'T THREATENING MY LIFE!"

"Well there you have it. Our hero is being held down by this awful stomach virus. We must be cursed for this to happen to our greatest guy ... "

"Gohan ... " said Cell in a perky voice. Gohan got his hopes up. "Lets see if we can give your engine a jump start ... "

Cell pointed at him. Gohan looked at him in utter confusion.

"HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the android laughed.

"What? What is it?"

"HAHA!"

"What! Stop laughing!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"HEY! QUIT IT!"

Gohan let out a sigh of defeat. Cell stopped laughing.

'Dammit ... it didn't work!' he thought.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Vegeta.

Cell pointed at Gohan again. Gohan smirked.

"Cell, that trick won't work on me this time!"

Gohan snapped back to reality as a thin ray of pink light flew straight towards his throat. Gohan bent over backwards as it slid past inches from his face.

"Be careful, Gohan, that's one of Frieza's finishing moves!" cried Krillin. Cell shot another one and Gohan jumped to the side. He saw him shoot at him again and again, but he dodged them all. Gohan doged the last one and flew to the side. Cell followed him and to the saiyan's suprise, he found himself him Cell's arms. Gohan looked up at him.

"You know, I'd rather be closer to you than this ... "

"Okay, this is getting wierd ... "

Cell fixed the situation by putting the 'squeeze' on Gohan. The boy screamed out.

"Think about it, a wretched way to die. And no one can stop me! Except for you, Gohan, except for you!" laughed Cell as he continued throttling the teenager harshly. "Come on! I know this hurts you! What are you waiting for? It makes you mad that you're in pain" Gohan continued to cry. "I can feel that your bones are about to crack, so if you're going to act I'd do it now!"

Piccolo looked as if he were going to explode at any moment. He looked at Goku, who had come back from his blubber rock ... thing ...

"NO! I CANT TAKE IT. GOKU YOU CAN STAND HERE AND WATCH ALL YOU WANT, BUT I'M HELPING GOHAN!"

"No you're not! You and I both know that you're not strong enough to fight cell. So wait."

"FOR WHAT GOKU?! FOR GOHAN TO GET KILLED?1 FOR CELL TO RIP HIM TO PIECES WHILE WE WATCH!?"

"Wait until he has no choice. And then, when goha is backed into a corner with no way out, then he'll release his furious hidden strength. And when that happens, you watch! Gohan will break Cell down once and for all!!"

"ENOUGH OF THIS GAME, GOKU! YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT YOUR SON! GOHAN MAY HAVE THAT POWER, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! HE DOESN'T THIRST FOR BATTLE AND MAYHEM! HE'S NOT A FIGHTER LIKE YOU! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING?1 HE ISN'T THINKING ABOUT STRENGTH, OR ABOUT COMPETITION! HE'S WONDERING WHY HIS FATHER IS JUST STANDING THERE LETTING HIM DIE!"

Goku sctratched his head ...

"I - uh - don't get it."

"GOKU! YOU ARE SUCH A DAMN WUSS! GOHAN IS DYING!"

"Gohan? Oh yeah ... a - oooh shit! Krillin, hand me a senzu bean!"

"Okay!" said Krillin.

Suddenly, Cell released Gohan.

"Stubborn creature ... you refuse to fight back despite all of the pain I inflict on you." Gohan continued to breathe heavily as Cell pondered on what to do next. "Perhaps you'd respond to the pain of your dear old friends!" Cell flew towards Krillin leaving Gohan helpless and weak on the ground.

"WAH? DON'T!"

Cell landed in front of Krillin. The monk just stood there, frozen in terror. He never even noticed that the senzu were taken from him.

"These are the senzu beans, right? Well you don't mind if I hold on to them."

Cell flew back down to Gohan, who was on one knee.

"Hold on, man! What are you planning to do?!"

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you angry. And if your friends end up dead then you can just blame yourself for being so damn stubborn!"

"Cell pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase! Don't do this, man, I love you!!"

"What?"

"U-uh ... I said uh, if you release my hidden power, I won't be able to stop it! I'll kill you!"

"Oh Gohan, don't be so dramatic!"

"GGGGRRRRRAAAAARRRRGGG!! GOKU YOU IDIOT YOU HSOULD HAVE EATEN A SENZU WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE ... MEAN PERSON!!" cried Goku, while stamping his feet.

"RAAAARGH!" (Yeah, Gohan so he can here you!!) -.-'

Gohan went for cell, who just kcked him aside.

"That's it! Let your fury overcome you!! WHA!?"

Android 16 jumped at him out of nowhere and grabbed cell from behind, wrapping his arms around him. Gohan was like ... shit!! Why me?!

"Come on, guys we've got to help him!"

"No! Saty back! Please! I will kill him by self-distructing!"

Cell looked as if he were having a heart attack ... "F3/'2-!"

"I have a powerful explosive imbeded (sp!) deep in my body. It was intended as a last resort. i am sorry that we androids have caused so much suffering on the Earth ... "

Jimmy and Hercule and shit were acting as if it were the end of the world.

"Cell, no matter how strong you have become, you wil not survive this explosion! Cell, you destroy life. You are a parasite to this planet, and I see that this is the best way to destroy you ... "

... not that Cell wasa ctually listening, more like trying to figure out how to get away from this guy.

"Doctor gero's sick ambition to terrorise the earth through us will ultimately be put to rest through his own devices. Cell are you even listening!"

"Heck no! Do you think that I'd rather listen to this instead of trying to break free!?"

"Whatever! See you on hell! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Everybody like went WHOOSH and ran for cover, while Gohan just sat there looking at them.

Suddenly, Android 16 stopped glowing.

"WHAT?! Something's wrong! The chicken's gone!"

"YOU CAN'T 16!!" yelled Krillin. "Because your chicken was REMOVED!!" (see the beginning of chapter 2 where 16 is talking to Bulma's dad ... and scratch)

"WHAT!?"

"You see, I over heard bulma talking about it, and they had to perform an operation because you can't ive birth! You know?!"

"OOOOH CRAP!" cried the android, looking at Cell as he realised what he had got himself into. Cell laughed a little.

"Sorry 16, I'm staying. But if you have a death wish, far be it from me to let you down!"

Cell pushed 16 away from him and sent a blast right through him. The androoid's head hit the ground and Cell put his foot on top of it.

"16. His petty existence proved that Doctor Gero had his flaws .. "

He kicked the head aside, then started running around doin back flips.

"GOOOOAAAAAALLL!! Anywho, does anyone else want to be a marcher today?" he said looking at the Z Fighters.

Gohan looked at the guy in confusion.

"So, gohan. We still haven't gotten you mad. Let's try some friendly persuasion ... let's see one two three four five six seven ... that's easy enough ... "

Cell opened his tail and pooped out seven little blue things.

"Okay ... Jack, Michael, Lee, Eddy, Fred, George, and ... hmm, Susan!"

Susan frowned.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice, young man! Now, those seven on the cliff are you enemies. Give them pain! Kill them if it makes you happy! Hop to it!"

"The Cell Juniors .. and Susan, are now goin to pummel the Z Fighters! Gohan, power up! I'm BORED as HELL! BYE!"

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	19. Don't Put The Cheese In The Sandblaster!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 19: Don't Put The Cheese In The Sandblaster!!**

"Okay! Previously, on 'Dragonball Z', Cell released seven Cell Juniors, and now they are going to pound on the Z Fighters, and you should have read the last chapter, so I'm not going to bother," said Rebekah.

Meanwhile, Jack, Michael, Eddy, Lee, Fred George, and Susan were cackling so hard that they nearly forgot how to fly, and Cell realised that he should have cut down on his E Numbers.

Jack went for Vegeta. Vegeta tried his mighty chop, but Jack caught it.

Michael went for Krillin, and started pulling faces at the terrified monk. Kirllin went to punch him.

"You missed me!" he yelled, in the cutest voice imaginable. Krillin tried with all his might to punch the youth.

Eddy began fighting with Trunks, and Lee fought Piccolo. Tien was trying to keep up with Fred, as Yamcha fought George.

AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDD ...

Susan was having the time of his life fighting the wounded crybaby ... GOKU!

Cell just watched with a smile, then took a peek at Gohan, who was staring at the battle with a shocked face on. Then he realised that Cell was looking at him, and he blushed a little.

And behind the rocks ...

"Oh! The new band of fighters are being pummled by these new little monsters. Everyone is fighting in an all out punching frenzy! No rules, no order, and no hope for any of us!" cried Jimmy.

As soon as he faced Hercule, he clutched onto his belly.

"OOOHH! WHY DYA MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT?!"

Android 16 (well the head part of him), was looking at them 'wtf?!'

Susan gave Goku a huge crack to the jaw. Then he started to whack him about. Rebekah couldn't stop laughing.

Piccolo couldn't take it anymore.

"TAKE THIS!!" Lee was sent crashing to the ground. "YO, YAMCHA, TIEN! GOKU IS A STUPID WUSS AND HE FORGOT TO TAKE A SENZU BEAN! HE'S STILL WORN OUT FROM HIS FIGHT WITH CELL! WE HAVE TO PROTECT HIM!" he yelled, while sending Lee back where he came from (the ground, not Cell). Lee crashed into Fred, while Piccolo took out George. "NOW GET YOUR ASSES TO GOKU RIGHT NOW!"

Back with Goku, Susan was whacking Goku around a little more. He raised his fists in the air, but Tien and Yamcha lifted him up and kneed him in the crotch. Rebekah was laughing so hard, she fell off her deck chair.

Eddy knocked Trunks backwards, but he stopped himself.

"This stupid disadvantage is slowing me down! That's it! After the Cel games are over, I am going on a DIET!"

Michael was messing around with Krillin, who STILL hasn't bloody touched him, until Piccolo came out of nowhere and smacked him one to the ground.

"Nice save!"

"WHATEVER!"

Piccolo carried on fighting with Lee, but Krillin didn't notice Michael coming at him from behind, and Krilin was knocked in the head, and he landed just a couple of meters from Cell and ... er ... Gohan.

"Get the hell up, Krillin!" yelled Gohan.

Michael flew down and buried his foot into krillin's sine. Then he started kicking him around. Yamcha and Tien were both knocked out. Goku watched Susan luaghing at him because his fly was still open.

"QUIT IT!" he moaned, blushing.

Gohan's hair started waving a little.

"Hey! Finally! Your energy's beginning to swell!"

"Cell, can't I just make out with you first?!"

"Hell, no! I want to fight you not kiss you!" Then Cell realised what else he could do to make him mad as he saw the boy outing and stomping his foot.

"Aaw, pulleeeeeeez!"

"No, now take your anger and feed off it before it's too late for your friends!"

"NO DON'T PUT THE CHEESE IN THE SANDBLASTER! STOOOOP!"

Gohan and cell looked up.

"EDDY, PUT THAT DAMN THING AWAY!"

Eddy pouted and started throwing cheese on Trunks instead.

"THE CHEEEESSSSEEEE! IT BUUUUUUURRRNNNNSSSS!"

Jack knocked vegeta aside, and the saiyan had a moment.

"This is stupid, they're just children, how are they so strong?!"

"MONSTER!" George caught Yamfcha's arm and snapped it with his elbeebow. Yamcha was like OMFG!!!!!!!

Susan kicked Goku in the crotch and sent him head first into the hard ground.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, dudes, I never thought that it would end up like this."

"DADDY!"

Cell looked up at Eddy and George.

"What?"

"Eddy won't give me any cheese!!"

"SHUT UP AND FIGHT OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Vegeta put his arms out in front of him.

"ALRIGHT, KID! JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK TO MYSELF LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS DAMN PLANET, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO WASTE MY TIME WITH PETTY CREATURES LIKE YOU!"

Jack put an oh - so - innocent smile on.

"FINAL FLASH!!"

Jack caught it and threw it aside. When the smoke cleared, Michael started playing around with Krillin's leg. Gohan looked on in real horror as Vegeta got pummeled again. Then Goku was getting the shit beat out of him by Susan. Pizza got up, brushing her dress, and hinting her heavy set because shes a skank.

"Those little monsters don't play fair! this dress is going to be ruined."

"You know we can't keep filming ... IF WE'RE TORN INTO LITTLE PIECES!!" yelled Dave.

"Yeah ... what do you say we get outta here, our fans will understand!" said Jimmy. Hercule folded his arms.

"Hmph, go if you want to, but a TRUE champion never runs away from danger! But first I'll go to the hospital to fix my stomach then come back and CRUSH those whimps!! NOW!!!! I am off to the doctors so I can come back and WIN!!"

"Wait."

Hercule turned around ...

"Was that you?"

Jimmy pointed to Android 16's head.

"Wait ... please - help - me ... "

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Before you go, please take me to the area where the rest of them are fighting. Please, it is for the good of the Earth ... "

"YOU MUST BE INSANE! CELL AND ALL OF HIS LITTLE MINIONS ARE OUT THERE!!" yelled Hercule ... chicken ...

"I thought you'd be eager to help the planet. You are the world's greatest champion, are you not?"

"Hercule is the champion of mankind! And that doesn't include monsters like you and Cell!" said Jimmy.

"HEY! I could crush all of them with one hand! I just need a doctor first!"

"Help me ... champion ... "

"Hercule! Don't listen to that thing!"

"BE QUIET! I will help you!"

"You have to stop you'll get killed!"

"Shut you're traps! A bunch of nobody's and even a little kid is fighting Cell! It would be shameful for a world champion to run away!"

Meanwhile ...

"RAPID FIRE!"

Piccolo was pissed of, Goku was barely conscious, and Krillin was being thrown around.

"No more!" cried Gohan. "Please knock it off!"

Cell rolled his eyes.

"Play time is over, children! You can kill them now!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"HEY! FIRST ONE WITH A KILL WINS A PRIZE! HUH?!"

16's head rolled over in front of Gohan.

"Weee, that was fun! U-uh, Gohan, let it go. It is not a sin to fight for the right cause. Cell is such a being. I know how you feel Gohan ... you are gentle, you do not like to hurt. i know because I too have learned these feelings."

"You've had a crush on him too?"

"No - I .. "

"I get what you're saying, if I just go up to him and kiss properly then it might work!"

"Gohan ... "

"Oh, this sentimental downpour is killing me! It's so nice of you to help, 16. But I plan on doing this my way!"

SMUSH

16's head was shattered.

"Hey, we were talking!"

"I know, but ... it was yet another fighter you could have saved ... "

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

**PLZ REVIEW! (i mean it ... pulleeeeeez)**


	20. Jump Off The Rock

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Reviews ... pweeeez? And thank you for those who did review! (hugzzz xx)**

**Chapter 20: Jump Off The Rock**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAA!"

Cell looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Didn't you just acsend in the last episode?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh well, hmm ... so, that's it, huh? You're making the same mistake Trunks did! Don't think you can beat me just by acting like a cockroach!"

Trunks looked away from Eddy and sneered at Cell.

"KICK HIS SORRY NON-DISADVANTAGED ASS, GOHAN!"

Susan continued his assault on Goku, who clinging onto his balls for protection.

'Gohan, come on! Hurry up!' he thought.

"KAKAPANTS! STOP THAT RIGHT THE HELL NOW!!!!"

Jack smacked him with his cartoon mallet.

"STOP IT!!"

Cell looked at Gohan.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Cell raised an eyebrow.

"TELL THEM TO STOP IT!!"

"Alright! I heard you the first time!" Cell put the majority of his weight onto one leg and tapped the other while folding his arms. Gohan emerged from the smoke, a SSJ2!!!!! Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun ...

"Hey! What took ya!"

"I can NEVER forgive you for what you've done!"

"And its about time too!"

Gohan snatched the senzu from Cell. Cell rolled his eyes as he knew what was coming next.

"I TOLD YA SOO!! HA!!"

Cell looked up at Goku.

"You're the one clinging onto your crotch, idiot! Besides, I have the .. oh ... "

Gohan waved the senzu in front of his face.

"Yoo hoooo!" he giggled.

""What - the senzu beans. How did you get them?"

Cell went for Gohan. He just disappeared and materialized in front of George.

"Bwah! Heeeheeeeeheeeheeeeeeeee!"

George has his head took clean off before he could finish whatever he was trying to say ... -.-' ... Vegeta stared at him.

"After all the time he spent trying to kill these things, he does it in one freakin BLOW!"

"Gohan, you're amazing!" said Trunks, who was trying to forget about protecting his lazy god damn ass.

"I know!"

Gohan wated no time going to Krillin's aid, as he managed to keep his sanity for the last nineteen chapters of this insane, no-meaning nonsense crappy ass screw up of the cell games ... and Michael and Jack were arguing ...

"My gameboy cost more then yoooouuuuurrrsssss!" yelled Michael, who stuck his tongue out at his brother (?)

"It does not!"

"Does too! And I've got waaaaay better games then you! I've got Dragonball Z! So there!"

"Guys! Shut up, and hold still!" yelled Gohan with his hand out.

Jack ran off to Vegeta again. Michael decided to be butch and put his nails at Krillin's throat.

"If I were you, I'd move," said Gohan. Michael flew away and shot some tiny cute blasts at the boy. He smiled in victory then looked at Cell for a little credit. Cell stared at his son, then shifted his eyes upwards to indicate that Gohan was there. Gohan quickly set Krillin down and shot back up and kicked Michael in half. He joined George ... in hell ... mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! Cell looked a little shocked. Gohan looked down at Cell and gave him the cutest little smile.

Meanwhile ...

"Chi-Chi, i'm sorrryyyyyy!"

Ox-King shook heplessly under a pillow the size of a pin-cushion as his devil of a daughter was stomping around.

"WHY DID THE TV HAVE TO GO OFF LIKE THAT! STUPID-ASS GOKU! WHY DID HE DO THAT. HE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING, HE SHOULD BE HOME, STUDYING. DAD, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!!!!"

Ox-King didn't move an inch as she took the uber shiny frying pan out of the safe.

AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD ...

Back with Gohan and Cell ...

Gohan landed in front of Cell and winked at him. Cell looked disturbed for a moment ...

'So THIS is the power that Goku was bragging about, hm! Let's just see it against all five of them!'

Jack, Fred, Susan, Lee and Eddy surrounded Gohan. They all went for him at once in a cloud of smoke Gohan easily lost his rag and killed Fred with a swift kick.

Elsewhere ...

"Jump of the rock ... jump off the rock ... jump of the rock ... hehe! Jump off the rock ... "

Goku repeatedly stood on top of a boulder and jumped off it again. Piccolo looked rather annoyed.

"GOKU YOU IDIOT, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND WATCH YOUR SON KICK FUCKING AASSSS!!!!!!"

"Aaaaw!"

Goku stood next to Piccolo with his arms folded, pouting. The remaining Cell Juniors were RREEAALLLLLYYYY ticked off that their three brothers had been killed. They all flew at him at once. Gohan simly threw the senzu beans and kicked their asses. Then he caught the senzu again.

"Go me ... go me ... its my birthday ... " he flatly said while doing very wooden dance moves to prove his sarcasm was actually making a point ...

They all got up again but were blew away by Gohan's energy.

"He blew all those creatures away with nothing but his energy!" cried Vegeta.

"Dad, why do you always state the obvious?" asked Trunks, checking if his ass was okay ... he really needs a life ... and so do I ... anywho ...

"Destructo disc!" yelled Eddy. Gohan dodged it by flying into the air.

"Kamehameha!!!!" said Lee and Susan.

"Special beam CANNON!!" said Jack and Eddy.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (my english teacher always told me to use onomatopiea or however you spell it ... )

The smoke cleared to show Gohan extremely pissed off ...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Lee made a run for it.

"GET YOUR CUTE BUTT BACK HERE!"

Gohan chopped him in half. He quickly caught up with the other three and disposed of them. Gohan turned around and saw another one.

"Huh? I thought there were seven!"

"Animators, they try to make me look like a father ... " said Cell.

Gohan killed him anyway.

"Hey Trunks! Forget about your ass and put it to use. Pass these around!"

Gohan threw the bag to him, not taking his eyes of Cell.

"Now THAT was entertainment! Can we fight now?!" yelled Rebekah from the sidelines, looking quite comfy in that deck chair of her's.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	21. How Could You Miss?

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Okay, I've ben watching this set off anime DVDs that are all actually look like they've been picked at random to make a set so here's what I think of some of them:**

**ROD The TV:- This show rocks! Three sisters who can manipulate paper telekinetically to their will to protect a writer from a mad bomber ...**

**Serial Experiments Lain:- I found this quite boring ... it was okay though ...**

**Lunar Legend:- The part where Arc told Shiki Tohno that he had cut her into seventeen pieces was cool, and the part where shiki found out that he had the mystic eyes of death perception, and when Arc told him that she was a vampire ancestor person ... :D ... twas the coolest**

**Paranoia Agent:- Okay, the beginning part was fine, but overall, I think it was sick ...**

**Tenchi Muyo:- One of the cutest animes ever. Ryoko is funny, Sasami and Ryo-Okhi are just plain cute, Tenchi's okay I guess, Yosho's a traitor, but Princess Ayeka is the bitchiest bitch to bitch around the bitches ...**

**Haibane Reminei:- Entrancing (swoons)**

**Texhnolyze:- I only got one thing to say ... WTF?!**

**I now realise that this has nothing to do with the damn story so I'll get on with it ... toodles xx :P**

**Chapter 21: How Could You Miss?!**

Gohan continued to pretend to hate Cell for what he did, but HEY this is Gohan we're talking about. And in this fic, Gohan is completely crazy!! So lets stick to the plan ...

Elsewhere, Krillin, Yamcha and Tien were messing around with this random stuffed animal that Krillin made to look like Trunks ... except that his head was too big, buttons were used for eyes, AND he was holding his sword like a sissy girl ...

"My ass is stupid, dammit! The stuffing's fallen out!" mocked Yamcha. trunks suddenly patted him on the shoulder.

"Oh, I see. I come over here to give you all a senzu bean, and I find that I've been replaced by some RAG - TAG HAND PUPPET!! So now, I'm going to give you these, and I'll be over THERE!!!!"

Trunks hmphed and walked away. The three human dudes snickered a little before resuming their role play.

Meanwhile ...

"Hmm, now ... " said Cell, expecting Gohan to make the first move, which he did after yet another staring competition. Gohan charged at him. "Yes!!" He disappeared however. Cell flew up to him and they began playing an advanced game of dodge - the - fist for a while. "Stop mocking me!!" Cell threw a kick at him. Gohan pushed his leg away and started to lash out again. In time they were connecting blows. Vegeta was like ... WOW I'm going to fight like him when I grow up ...

"GOKU YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What did I do??"

"YOU FOUGHT CELL FIRST FOR THE HELL OF IT! I COULD HAVE BEEN AT HOME READING NOVELS BY NOW!!!!!!!!"

Trunks looked at him.

"Is that true, Goku?"

"Uuuh ... "

Cell blasted Gohan but he flicked it away. Cell went to punch him, but Gohan decended quickly and disappeared as the both hit the ground.

"WAOH! WHERE DID HE GO?!" cried Piroshki, Coroni clinging onto his arm for dear life. Jimmy popped up from behind a rock with his precious Mrs Microphone.

"I'm sorry that we can't show you any footage, ladies and gentlemen! With our only camera on the fritz, and the fight between Cell and the pint-sized kid is really heating up, and so far, it looks like the kid is on top! That's right folks, it looks as if this tiny titan maybe the one to take Cell down once and for all!"

David spoke up.

"Jimmy, you're ... not holding the microphone!"

"WAH?!?!?!?!"

Jimmy scurried around on the floor.

"Now those wedding plans have gone to waste!"

Rebekah looked up at Gohan and Cell, who were floating in mid air.

"Come on, people! I want to see some excitement or else I'm going home!"

Gohan started smiling ... he looked pretty cheeky.

"Don't worry, there's plenty of action coming ... hehe ... " Gohan winked at Cell, who raised an eyebrow, looking slightly worried.

"Hey! Let's get out of here, Piroshki! I'll simply DIE if I loose any more teeth!" cried Coroni, with Pizza running beside him. Piroshki was jiggling behind a rock.

"I can't move my legs ... "

Hercule's afro popped up again.

"WHY IS NOBODY WATCHING MEEEEEE!?!?!" yelled the arogant freakin ... Gohan and Cell began clashing blows again. Gohan decended again in front of the jelly dude on the floor who had his ass in the air. Coroni was distracted from Cell by this ... heehee ...

"YOU'RE MINE!!" bellowed Cell.

"Come and get me!" giggled Gohan. Cell struck, causing an explosion. He stood up again, seeing that Gohan was standing on a cliff with the camera crew.

"How did he do that?!"

Gohan landed in front of Cell, and started to humorously mock him ...

"You missed?! How could you miss?! I was three feet in front of you!!"

Cell was getting rrrreeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyy pissed off now, and just stared at the boy angrily, I mean ... who wouldn't ... Cell threw yet another frigging punch at Gohan, who just leant backwards. He swung rougn and tried to kick Cell, but he disappeared in to the sky. Gohan flew up to him and Gohan started dodging again. Cell soon backed him into a cliff and another punch caused him to tear it in half. However, when the dust cleared, Gohan was nowhere to be seen. He turned around to see Gohan in the sky, but when his head turned to see him properly, Gohan was right in his face with an innocent and confused look on. Cell exploded with anger, and the cliff was obliterated. But gohan was still there, smiling. He landed on the ground, along with Cell.

"Don't get too confident, for I have yet to show you, young warrior, of what I am truly capable of ... "

"Oooo ... I'm scared ... "

"Don't use sarcasm against me boy. Let's see how you match up against me when I fight at full strength ... "

"He's bluffing! I know he is!!" yelled Trunks. "Just like he did about my disadvantage ... "

"Oh, shutup!!" everyone yelled.

Gohan folded his arms and slouched as Cell began to power up ...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Well, I guess he wasn't then ... " said trunks, trying to get his hair out of his mouth.

"I've been waiting for you to turn it up." ( I love this quote! This is where I got some of my thoughts from )

"HEY, CELL! YOU'RE MESSING MY HAIR UP!!!!" yelled Krillin ... oh no ... KRILLIN'S LOST IT?!?!?!??! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The smoke cleared and Gohan was still stood in the same spot, while everybody else was blown away. Goku was like o.0?!

"Wow, he's strong ... " Well DUUUUUUUUUUUUH! Krillin, now insane, looked distraught.

"MY HAIR! IT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!"

Cell stood up, proud and arrogant.

"So, kid are you impressed by what you see?"

"That all depends on your meaning," said Gohan, all flirty and ... shit ... "But ... is that all you've got?"

Cell looked at him confused, but chuckled. Then he realised that Gohan was being serious. He lunged forward instantly and whacked Gohan in the face. Cell seemed proud, but then saw that the boy was unharmed. Cell went to punch him again, but gohan buried his fist in cell's stomach. Cell staggered backwards, but then regained his posture and was pissed off. Gohan gave him an uppercut to the jaw and Cell flew backwards. Gohan realised he was just a tad to hard ...

"Oopsy ... "

" ... oh ... ow ... "

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	22. This Is All Your DAMN FAULT!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**OMFG!! I just heard 'The Howling' by Within Temptation!! And it ROCKS!!!!!**

**Chapter 22: This Is All Your DAMN FAULT!!**

Gohan just like, stood there staring a cheeky stare at Cell, who was cringing in pain and hurting like hell. He angrily growled at the boy, with blood pouring from his mouth which only made him laugh back.

"Why doesn't Gohan just finish Cell off?! I'm dangling over here! And I've got a DATE tomorrow!" yelled Krillin.

"Since when?!" Krillin grabbed Yamcha by the hair.

"Ssssh! I haven't really, I just want to go home. My back's killing me!" whispered the monk.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight ... "

Gohan began to walk over to Cell. When he stopped their noses were almost touching.

"You are as FOOLISH as your father!"

Gohan wiped his forehead. "Say it, don't spray it ... and by the way, my father doesn't know the meaning of foolish so hush!"

"That's it!! Time for you to learn some respect!!"

After yet some more growling Cell threw barrage of kicks at Gohan who blocked them all with one hand.

"Now ... FIGHT ME!!"

"Okay!"

Gohan eagerly caught Cell 's leg and stared at it for a moment.

"HEY GOHAN!!" yelled Piccolo.

"WHAT?!"

"STOP FOOLING AROUND!! YOU'RE WASTING TIME!! DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THE TRAINING AGAIN?!"

Gohan raised an eyebrow at his mentor, still holding onto Cell's leg. Cell was hopping around like a maniac, having trouble keeping his balance. Just as he was about to fall, Gohan shoved his foot into Cell's face, sending him about ... erg ...

"Around 103 meters south to be accurate ... " perked Rebekah, filing her nails.

She's such a genius ... anyway. Cell got up, like all startled and shit because he just got whacked around by a boy half his bloody size. Goku was pouting as usual.

"I do so know what foolish means!"

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure ... "

Anywhoover ...

"I will NOT be humiliated by a child! This has gone far enough, I am tired of playing these games!!"

"You started it!" yelled Gohan.

'This can't be happening, I am complete! It is impossible for a saiyan child to defeat me! I am the ultimate fighter, I have no equal! Yet somehow, this one is different. Very well. If I must proove myself once again then so be it, but this will be the last time!'

"QUIT THINKING!!!" yelled Vegeta, pathetically stomping his feet.

Gohan began to advance. Cell powered up and launched two larger then usual destructo discs and threw them at Gohan. Gohan was like ... whatever ... and just caught them. With a little cute yell, he destroyed them.

"You litlle fool! I'll show you what true power is!!"

Gohan tried to supress a giggle as Cell shot a special beam cannon at him.

"HAHAHAHAAAAAA! NOOOW WHAT WILL YOU DOOOO!!??" laughed the android insanely. Gohan rolled his eyes and whacked the blast into the sky.

"ooo, fireworks!!" said Rebekah flatly.

"RAPID FIRE!!"

Gohan just stood there smirking.

"Wah?! Those blasts went right through him!"

"State the obvious huh?" he said, standing with his hand on his hip.

"YEAH! THAT'S IT!!"

The clown town looked at Hercule.

"What are you talking about?"

"I have decided to take him under my wing ... "

Coroni stared at him.

"I didn't know you could fly!!"

"No! You idiot! I'm just saying that if he trains with me he'll be even better!!"

Trunks looked like he was going to cry.

"The tables have turned on Cell. Gohan's got him!!"

Gohan walked up to Cell once again.

"What are you so afraid of. Cell, isn't this hwat you wanted?"

"Well, yeah ... but - "

"Quiet! Now, after I win this little scrap, I am going to kick your arrogant, lopsided ass back to the hell you came from!"

Cell looked confused and hurt as he curiously looked down to see if his ass was actually lopsided.

"HEY!!"

Cell's head shot back up, just as Gohan started brushing his lips against Cell's.

"GOHAN?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" yelled Krillin, who is now officially insane like the rest of us.

Cell tried to back off, but Gohan grabbed him and kissed him. Cell pushed pushed him away, and made a run for it. Gohan rolled his eyes, and watched him impatiently.

"He's gotta learn someday ... "

"KAAAA - MEEEEE - "

No ... don't do, man! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" winged Goku.

"HAAAAA- MEEEEEEE - "

"BUT - TELETUBBIES ... " yelled Trunks. "YOU'LL KILL THEM ALL!!"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

" ... shit ... " coughed Vegeta.

Gohan was ready to go ..

"Ka - me - ha - me - HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Uh- oh!!!!!!!!!!!"

Soon, the skies were clear, and the Z Fighters popped out of the sand ... like DAISES!! Vegeta shook his head voilently.

"Stupid sand! GET OUTTA MY HAIR!!"

"SHIT!! GOKU THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

"WAAH??"

"CELL IS STILL ALIVE!!"

Cell was floating in the sky without arms, legs, his hat and his wings. Gohan nearly wet himself laughing ...

"GOHAN!! HURRY UP I'M STARVING!!"

"SCREW YOU!! I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN!!"

"Damn ... " Goku turned his back and pouted.

Cell quickly grew his limbs back.

"You wretched child!! How dare you!! HOW DARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Cell grew like 20 times his size and went after Gohan with everything he had.

"Hey!! Cell tricked me!! He said that powering up like that made me too slow. It's all YOUR fault, stupid disadVANTAGE!!!!!!!!!"

"TRUNKS!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!"

Gohan jumped back with a smile. He lunged forward and knocked Cell in the face.

"You're not a boy ... you're a monster ... "

"Same to you, sweetheart ... "

Gohan kicked him in the gut. After some icky pukey ... puking, Android 18 was on the floor, unconscious ... "

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	23. Goku's Dead, Let's Party!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**OMG!! Nearly done!!! After this there be 6 chapters ...**

**Chapter 23: Goku's Dead, Let's Party!!**

Cell was making icky gurgling noises while saliva was dripping from his chin. He fell onto his knees, gripping the head of his 'sister'.

"DON'T TOUCH HEEERRRRR!!" yelled Krillin.

"KRILLIN!! STOP YELLING!!" yelled Piccolo.

"STOP YELLING AT KRILLIN!!" yelled Trunks.

"STOP YELLING AT ME FOR YELLING AT YOU FOR YELLING AT KRILLIN!!"

"WELL, STOP YELLING AT ME FOR YELLING AT YOU FOR YELLING AT ME FOR YELLING AT KRILLIN!!"

"STOP YELLING!!" yelled Tien.

"WELL STOP --- "

And so on ...

While that was going on in the back ground, Jimmy, his microphone and the crew looked a little mentally scarred ...

"Oh my, I don't believe it! IT LOOKS LIKE CELL IS DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR!! IS THIS THE END?? WILL THAT TOUGH KID BE CLAIMED THE CHAMP?? HAS HE WON THE CELL GAME??"

"Uh, boss, the micropohnes still broken ... " stated David. Jimmy began blubbering, cuddling the lump o wires and metalllllllll ... (takes finger of the L key)

Cell reverted back into his second form ... the fish face ... and the Z Fighters were doing the 'aaah' thing that they always do when something has happened that they can't really understand.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Cell stared at Gohan in the eyes.

"YOU LITTLE INSECT YOU'VE MADE A FOOL OF MEEE!!"

"Where??"

Gohan looked around him to see if there even was an insect that made a fool of Cell, but then he realised that he was talking about him all along.

"Oh yeah!! I get it!!"

Cell tried to punch him, but Gohan jumped back and then whacked Cell in the face.

"That's the way!!" said Krillin.

"GOHAN!! FINISH HIM OFF, NOW!!"

Gohan began to advance again as Cell got up onto his feet.

"Stay away from me you MONSTER!!"

That just made Gohan continue because he was in a tormenting mood today ... Cell just fell of 6the edge of a rivine and just caught the edge.

"Cell, for Kami's sake, you can fly!! Idiot!!" cried Rebekah, but her microphone wasn't working either so ...

Gohan placed his foot onto Cell's hand.

"Give up ... or fall, sweetie."

"NOOO!!"

Gohan stood by his word stood on Cell's face. Cell fell down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down ... until he remembered he could fly ...o0!

Gohan turned his back on Cell and started being cocky. As soon as Cell came up behind him he turned around and kicked him again ... in the face ... again ...

"GOHAN, STOP FUCKING TOYING WITH HIM!!" yelled Piccolo, breaking the chain of yelling that had been going on for a while. Trunks nearly broke it earlier, blaming his disadvantage.

"NOW GOHAN!! END IT NOW!! THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE, GET HIM, GOHAN!!"

"Dad, you sound like a guilty conscience! Just shutup!!"

"GOHAN DO AS YOU'RE FUCKING TOLD!!" yelled Piccolo.

Gohan sighed and walked over to him.

"Look, Cell, it coul dhave worked between us but you didn't tske me seriously."

"NO STAY BACK!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Cell suddenly powered up and he began inflating himself. Jimmy decided to take the stage.

"Cell has changed once again!! What kind of strange strategy is this!? Cell has blown himself up like a balloon, and he looks like he could go of at any minute!!"

"Boy, this is the end for you. You thought that you could beat me but you can't! I'm going to blow myself up, and I'm going to take you with meeeeeeeeeeeeee! Say goodbye to your precious planet!!"

"No you won't!! You're too much of a cward to do that!! I mean, come on!!" Gohan got into fighting stance.

"Hold your horseflies, you might make me explode! One little shock could set me off, then it's bye bye Gohan, bye bye Goku and smell yah later Earth!!"

" ... oopsy ... "

"What?! Blow up the damn Earth?!" yelled Vegeta.

"THAT'S RIGHT! CELL'S NOT BLUFFING THIS TIME, I KNOW HE'LL DO IT!!"

"Well duuuuuuuuh! Why the hell do you think he started in the first place?" stated Rebekah, who had move her deck chair a few meters back.

"Ten seconds to go, and the Earth will be gone!!"

"Fine, I'll see yah in hell ... " said Gohan crossing his ams. Goku looked at his fellow fighters and smiled.

"GOKU, YOU IDIOT!! WHY ARE YOU SMILING? WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, YOU WUSS!!"

Goku put two fingers to his head and waved goodbye.

"Oh, he wouldn't ... " said Yamcha.

Goku disappeared.

"He would ... " they all said.

Goku disappeared with Cell before Gohan realised what was happening.

"GOKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!" cried Krillin.

Elsewhere ...

"BWAAAAHHH!! GOKU ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" yelled King Kai.

"Well ... yeah, I guess ... " Cell was about to pop.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

King Kai's planet explooooded.

Back on the battefield ...

"DDAAAAAADDDDYYYY!!"

Gohan's voice echoed through the desert. Krillin put his hand on GOhan's shoulder.

"He truly was a good guy ... "

"In his own way, yeah ... "

"Who, Goku?"

"Oh, I thought you were talking about Cell. Never mind ... "

"Okay?? Uh lets get you home, and I'll give you some medicine, okay? Hey!! ANDROID 18!!"

Krillin ran over and checked her out. He picked her up.

In otherworld ...

"GOKU, PICCOLO WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE A WUSS!"

"Aaaaw ... hmph ... "

"Now, now don't be sad, saiyan!"

Goku looked behind him to see ... Frieza ...

" ... oh no ... "

On Earth ...

"Krillin, put that android down right now! It's still alive. Destroy it now!!"

"Noooo!! She's mine!!"

"Fine, hmph, do what you want!!"

Suddenly a giant wind blew through the desert, and there was a big electric cloud of dust. They all started 'aah'ing again as a blast was heading for them. Trunks was busy looking down at his ass, until ...

ZAP!

"Damn you disadvantage!!"

Trunks landed on the ground, lifeless.

"My aim is as good as ever!! It's so good to be back!!" said Cell.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	24. Cell's Life Story! AGAIN? o0?

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 24: Cell's Life Story - AGAIN? o0?**

And EVERYONE was 'aaah' ing at Cell, while Rebekah was playing some whacky jazz techno groove on her portable CD player.

"What's wrong, suprised to see me??"

"Well duuuuuuh!!" yelled Gohan. "I-I mean, Cell you monster! Look what you did to Trunks!!"

Trunks lay their behind them.

"Hey guys .. I'm still alive. Can't - you see my foot twitching?!" he stuttered. Nobody listened to him.

"What do you want from us Cell?!" said Vegeta. Cell smiled.

"Nothing ... I have everything I need now."

"How did He get back?! But he's - he's DEAD!!"

"Yamcha, you idiot, do I look dead to you?!"

Yamcha shutup and listened.

Meanwhile ...

"Oh yeah ... and for the record, I WAS holding back when I fought you on Namek!"

Frieza looked like he was about to pop.

"Oh yeah?!"

"YEAH!!"

"How did Cell survive the blast?" pondered King Kai.

"OMG! That's just OBVIOUS!"

"SHUTUP FRIEZAAAAAAAA!!"

"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO CONENTRATE!"

Cell chuckled.

"So, you thought you'd never see me again ... well TOO BAD! I'm alive, but I'm afraid to say it's not the same for Goku ... wnat to know how I survived the blast ... ?"

"Oh ... you had to ask didn't you, Yamcha!"

"It's all in here, " he pointed at his head, "It's all part of my design. Every cell has a life of his own. I can't die! It's impossible! Even if i self destruct, I will always come back! I don't remember much after the explosion, butr somewhere amongst the planet debree, the core of my being still existed. One living cell survived and that was all I needed for my regeneration. Soon that living cell began to multiply into many, ot wasn't soon before I became conscious of my transformation. I could feel every part of my body growing, crackling with new life and energy: my shapeless form began to sprout new limbs - first my legs ... then my arms! And in no time at all,my body was restored. At first I found it hard to belive I had brought myself back from the brink of extinction. That is when I realised that each of my cells must hold a memory of my former self. Each one programmd to make me whole again. And to my great delight, I had returned with my complete power ... inTACT! Causing my own self destruction was the best thing thta ever happened to me! I was reborn! I must give Doctor Gero credit for his brilliant design. My complete power had been restored even though I had lost Android 18. My cells had tasted the power and stored it away, reawakening it after the explosion while my new body grew. I also discovered that I had the ability to perform the instant transmission technique. Somehow, during the blast, my cells had absorbed this knowledge from Goku. So there you have it, you could say I am new and improved. Goku failed, and so will all of you! But I'm willing to give you another chance if you want! So, which one of you cowards is the bravest?!"

It's safe to say Gohan was ... hmm, how should I put this ... PISSED OFF!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Cell smiled at the kid.

"Still won't give up?"

"Well ... no ... "

"Really?"

"Well ... yeah ..."

"Hm! You still have a lot to learn, boy! I'll make sure you end up just like Goku! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(cough cough)

"What was that?!" They looked over at Trunks.

"Hey ... my foots moving ... I'm still ... brlaaaaaaaah!" he muttred as he threw up a lotta blood.

"Hey, you guys ever wondered why five minutes took over like seven episodes in the Frieza series?? That must've been the longest five minutes of Goku's life!! Oh! Trunks!!"

Yamcha ran over to him.

"Trunks hold on!! Wah ... theres a big hole!" he said looking at Trunks' wound. They all turned round to Vegeta's yelling!

"BUUULLLLSHHHIIIIIIIIIIIT!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Vegeta darted at Cell, and he shot loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of little blasts at Cell.

"I'll make sure ... he can't put himself ... back together aGAIN!!" he panted. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

And he shot loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of fuckin blasts and shit at the smoke.

"At last! It's oveer!!"

Cell suddenly popped out of the smoke!! o0?!

"Wrong! It's over when I say it's over!"

SMACK!!

Vegeta struck the ground hard, leaving his freakin pride behind (you'll see where I'm going with this)

"And it's over NOW!!"

Gohan was thinking ... 'I don't ... no ... I don't!! I don't love him ... I love Vegeta!"

Cell shot HIS blast at Vegeta, and for some reason it collided with Gohan ... oh yeah, I remember, he jumped in front of it ... why?

"Why would Gohan sacrifice himself to save Vegeta?! I thought he was obsessed with me, hmph ... better late than never."

Gohan managed get up onto his feet, but with only the use of his right arm as blood poured from the other.

"Gohan! I told you not to get in my way! The only thing you've not bruised is your eye brows! I hope you're not planning on continuing this fight ... "

Gohan was ready to put em up anyhow!!

Cell landed in front of him and suddenly slammed his wrists together and brought them to his side.

"Gohan! I'm going to KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh ... sh ..." he coughed.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	25. Previously On Dragonball Z

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 25: Previously On Dragonball Z ...**

"Previousy on Dragonball Z, GothicHan wrote some seriously fucked up version of the Cell Games, evrybody has officially gone insane, apart from Oolong, because he's insane anyhow. Gohan hurt his arm because he can't decide who he loves the most, and Cell is back all turbo-charged. It has been twenty-five loong chapters, and hopefully, Cell will decide to shoot his Kamehameha any tie soon ... "

Rebekah sat back down looking at her watch.

"HAHAHAHAAAA!! This place has been good to me, but all my deasting here is done. And I'd hate to leave without first cleaning my plate, soon it'll be nothing but a cloud of dust!!" cackled Cell.

'I can't stop him! I can't, he's come back so strong! Dad, I'm sorry, it's my faut it's come to this! Beacause I didn't kill him quickly like you said!' ... " just like it's my fault, dad, that yu're not here with me anymo - shyte ... now I can't keep my thoughts to myself!!"

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!

"IT'S A TRICK! FAAAAANCY TRICK!!" yelled our hero, the Hercule guy. Jimmy suddenly pushed him out of the way ...

"CELL HAS TURNED ON HIS MONSTER BEAM!! AND STRONG WINDS ARE SHOOTING OUT!! IT'S LIKE A TYPHOON!! OR A WIND TUNNEL!! OR A TYPHOON AND WIND TUNNEL - WAIT A SEOND!! THIS ISN'T MY FIANCE!! WHO AM I TALKING TOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

And they blew away ... thank Kami ...

"Oh .. ow ... I can't freakin move my freakin legs with all this fuckin shit ... Gohan, you stupid idiot, why did you go and save me like thtat??"

"Your welcome, ass hole!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! DAMN IIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!" yelled Piccolo yet again.

Gohan looked like he wanted to die, but he was ready to kick ass anyhow ...

"Ultimate perfection! I have spent decades waitin for it! And I thought after absorbing the androids, my game had been won! But now, only now, do I know what Doctor Gero meant by those words: ultimate perfection ... "

"NOT AGAAAAIIIIINNNN!!"

" ... Doctor Gero died, and his lab laid in ruins, but my chamber stayed intact, and i continued to grow under the computer's carefull eye. Even the doctor's voice stayed with me, his recorded messages instructing me in my test tube womb. And after many years, my gowth was complete. I made my first steps on the hard ground, it was glorious! But the world I emerged into was a dead one, almost completely destroyed by the android pair. I sucked up whatever life I could find (eeeeew), gaining strength from their bio-extract, of course it wasn't enough. I needed the androids, whom I had learned had been killed by Trunks. But thanks to his old time machine, I was able to travel back to an era where the androids were still alive ... fitting into the time machine meant regressing intomy larval state, and it was a long process to gain back my mature form. But patience was something my experience taught me, waiting, afterall is a small price to pay for perfection. It wasn't long before Android 17 was mine! And I got my first step towards being complete. You can't possibly understand what it's like to taste perfction on you're lips ... "

"Well I'd sure like to ... " mumbled Gohan.

" ... after that, nothing could stop me from absorbing 18 and becoming complete! As always, it was only a matter of time. And in that sudden moment. After years an years of waiting, everything had changed. The androids had been absorbed and I was going through an incredible transforamtion, that had felt every corner of my mind since I was in that tiny chamber. My muscles bulged, I could feel every tendon tightening. Changing ... filling with indescribable energy! It was all I;d ever expected, yet with it came a strange sense of emptyness. I seemd that all my obstacles had been shattered. And there was nothing left to do ... the universe has said to begin with a bang ... how appropriate! For an explosion has given me the power to finish it. And it is all because of the attack you made against me. Now I realise the true genius of my design, like Piccolo I can fully regenerate as long as my oe remians, like the saiyans, my power increases greatly afte near death, and like Frieza I can survive anyhwere ... I thought Doctor gero only meant for me to defeat the earth, but I know now, I was designed for much more ... once I've finished tearing this world into pieces, I'll just use Goku's instant transmission to move onto other planets. That is my destiny ... I am the universe's end!! ... huh?!"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

"HEY WAKE UP!!!!! Hey goha, what's themtter!! Aren't you going to stop me now??"

"What does it look like, stupid?? Man ... i wish I would've took those ballet lessons ... "

"HA!! Yu can be such a whimp at the worst times, you know that!!"

"Whatever just kill me!"

'Hmph ... hmm, I wonder if I can get a cheese burger later ... '

'Giving up already?! That's not the Gohan I know!!"

"Dad, will you shutup, I'm trying to think about how painfully I'm going to - DAD?! WHERE ARE YOU!?

'In other world, dummy! King Kai's letting me talk to you as long as I beg for mercy when he fries me later! Now, I want you to give Cell the biggest Kamehameha you've got!!"

"have you taken into account that I've only got one arm!! But, then you'll just make up an exuse for me to do it anyway ... "

'That a boy!'

"Ka -me -ha ...

'I guess the cheese burger will have to wait ...'

"MEEEEEE ...

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	26. A Chapter On How To Kill Time

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Now for my favourite DB/Z/GT episode EVER!!**

**Chapter 26: A Chapter On How To Kill Time**

'Meeeeeeeeeee ...'

"Meeeeeeeeeee ... "

"Now you DIE!!"

Cell shot his Kamehameha.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Gohan shot is ...

"That's WAY TOO BIG!! LET'S GOOO!!"

The two blasts collided, hoorah ... meanwhile, Rebekah took off because her dinner was ready ... (I know, random)

Vegeta wanted to help, but his pride was still floating in midair ...

" Ka..me..ha.. me... no, that's not it... Special Beam Canno... no that's not it either... Ghost Kamikaze Atta... Shit that's not right... Solar Fla...damn! That's not it either! Why the hell can't I remember my own signature move?! FUCK THIS I'M OUTTA HERE!!"

Vegeta took off also, along with Piccolo, Krillin, Tien, Yamcha and 18 and Trunks's bodies.

Gohan sounded like he was gonna barf whileCell was LAUGHING his wings off!!! An everyone blew away, while Rebekah was safe and sound in her very own helicopter watching the show with her McDonalds.

"IIIINNNN the red corner, weighing around 220 lbs ... that was after his killing spree ... we have CELL!! And in the blue corner, aged 11 years and 5 days ... its GOHAN!! And they're tied soo far!! ... n all that jazz ... "

Hercule and everybody landed on the ground. Jimmy got up with his ... what the ... HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A ROCK?!?!??!?!?!?! O.O?!

"Oh, there's no use trying to get away from him ... folks, it seems the MONSTER BEAM IS SHREDDING THE GROUND BENEATH US!! THIS IS IT!! GOODBYYYYE EVERYONE!!"

'Gohan, hand in there!!'

"WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING, DAD!!"

'Man, come on Cell!! Win this one for me and wish me back to life so I can kill Vegeta's god damn son!!'

'He's already dead, stupid!!'

'SHUT UP!!'

"Dad, are you arguing with Frieza?!"

"Yes ... I mean, SHUT UP AND CONCENTRATE!!"

Cell loked amused once again.

"This must e hard for you with all those wounds!! I'M SURE HIS MAKES THEM BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!!"

Rebekah awoke to the sudden change.

"Cell is winning ... again!!"

"And now this, is where you EEEEEEENNNNNNNDDDDDDD!!"

Gohan was ready to die anyway ...

"GOHAN! You already have the power you need just bring it out!!"

"I CAN'T!!"

'See, he is smarter than you!!' said Frieza.

'You don't have to be smart to be in charge, stupid!'

'How do you figure?'

'Well, take this, for example, in the human body, which organ is in charge? All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss. The moral of the story? You don't have to be smart be in charge... just an asshole!!'

'What?!'

"AAAAAH!"

'No way?!' yelled Goku, now focusing on the fight.

"TOO STROOONG!! Now wonder I love cell, he's buff!!"

'What was that?'

"Nothing ... "

"What on Earth are you mumbling about?! Chanting a little prayer before die?!" yelled Cell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Gohan was back in the fight.

"You fool, don't you realise yet, you're up against the PERFECT weapon?!"

Cell was overtaking once again ...

"Aigh ... shit ... " coughed Gohan.

'Hey Gohan!! If you're holding back becaue you're worried about the planet, forget about it!!'

"Uhh?!"

'Just bring ot your power, okay!! Forget about Earth, screw the Earth!! And screw - "

"... Cell?!" asked gohan.

' ... no ... just the earth, son!"

"I'M COMING, GOHAN!!" yelled Piccolo.

"WAIT!!! PICCOLOOOOOOOOOO!!" shouted Krillin. "WHERE THE HECK DID PICCLO'S BRAIN GO?! TO THINK HE COULD STOP CELL ALL BY HIMSELF!!"

"HE CAN'T BUT HE WENT ANYWAY!!" ylled Tein.

"Tien, don't go and pull a Piccolo on me!!"

"SEE YA!!"

"YEAH, BYE KRILLIN!!" said Yamcha.

"I guess playing it safe is one thing we'l never learn!! HEY GUYS, WAIT UP!!"

"MASENKO - HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Cell looked behind him with a smirk. He lifted his wings (a sight that anybody except Gohan would love to see), and blasted Piccolo awaaaaaaay ...

Krillin, Yamcha and Tien all flew past Vegeta, who was still trying to figure out hi signature move ...

"Tri-bea, no ... galactic donut ... nope ... masenk ... aigh hell!!"

"SPECIAL BEAM CANNOOOONN!!"

"TRI-BEAM- HAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Everybody was shooting Cel, who was pretty pissed off about it.

"WOULD YOU STOP INTERFERING!!"

Cell blew them away again.

"YOU'RE ALL SO ANXIOUS TO DIE, AREN'T YOU?! WELL ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS AAAAAAAAAASSKKKK!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Gohan was back in the fight once again.

'Alright! Cell pissed him off again!!' said Frieza sarcastically.

'And heeeeeeeereeee's the thought chain! What should I talk about?? Well ... ' thought Yamcha.

' ... should I get the bus to Lunch's place, or ... ' thought Tien.

' ... THIS IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF NOW, COZ ... ' thought Piccolo.

' ... Sailor Mars is sexy and ... ' thought Krillin.

' ... it's the final countdoooooooooowwwwwwwwwnnnn ... ' thought Cell.

' ... ow, my arm, ow, my head, ow, my fingernails ... ' thought Gohan.

"BE QUIET I ALMOST HAD IT THEN!!" yelled Vegeta.

They all got blown away again ...

"THEY JUST KEEP LINING UP TO DIE!!" said Cell.

"Wait ... uh THAT'S IT!!" said vegeta.

"SAY GOODBYE!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! OOOOOWW!!"

A final flash came from nowhere.

"That's ... for calling ... me a ... cockroach ..."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"WHAT THE?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

And ... Cell died (sob)

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	27. Officer Shenron

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 27: Officer Shenron**

Gohan lay exhausted on the ground laughing.

"LOOK AT HIM!! I GUESS SAVING THE WORLD CAN TAKE ITS FREAKIN TOLL ON YOU HUH?!"

"Piccolo, you can shutup now ... Cell's dead you know ... " said Krillin, who is now sane once again ... we hope O.O

"YEAH, WELL HE WAS NO HUMAN CELL!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"

"Piccolo, that isn't even remotely funny ... "

"FINE, I'M GOING TO BLACKPOOL!!" (in England)

"No, you need help, man."

"MY THEREPIST SAID I NEED A VACATION, STUPID. IT'S EITHER THAT OR HAWAII!!"

They landed by Gohan.

"Hey, Gohan, were you holding back your power all that time to scare us, because, boy it worked!!"

Gohan laughed a little. Yamcha decided to stop picking his nose and he went over to pickthe child up.

"Twinkle twinkle little ... star ... urgh ... " said Gohan as he blacked out.

Krillin started to panic.

"Oh my GOD!! HE'S DEAD!!"

Okay, I was wrong about hm being sane. And so they went to the lookout.

"BWAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Hercule got up onto his feet all chunky hunky.

"WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT CANYON COME FROOOOM?!"

Jimmy was taking cover, in the mean time, with his ass in the air, but got up when he finally realised that it was all over.

"Hercule. What on this crazy Earth just happened?! All I remember was that little boy and Cell shooting strance light at each other, and then the ground was shaking. I was pretty sure the world had ended aftter that!"

"That's funny ... it ... didn't phase me?"

"So where's Cell? Did you see what happened to him?"

"Well what if I said that ... I DEFEATED CELL SINGLE-HANDEDLY?"

"uuh ... "

"Yeah, I went over to him and gave him a CHOP!!"

"Suuure ... we believe you ... "

"Gohan!!" cried dende as he ran over to the Z Fighters when they landed.

"Hey there, little guy, you must be Dende!" said Yamcha.

"Well, duh. Did you hear of any other Nameks becoming your guardian and watching over your ass??"

"Uh ... "

"Just put him down here ... "

Gohan opened his eyes after being healed, and he saw a big green blob floatiing over his face until he regained his focus.

"Gohan!!"

"Dende??"

"Alright ... uh, I mean, I'm sorry about your father, Gohan. Was it him that you were speaking to during the fight??"

"Oh yeah, he was with me fighting the fight!!"

"What about Vegeta??"

"Well, he decided to help me after about half an hour of sleepin the sleep with the knocked unconscious."

"Riight ... "

"I mean, I talked to him."

"Call the men in white coats!!" said Tien.

Android 18 opened her eyes.

"Awake at last!!" sighed Krillin.

"Woah, what the fuck?" she said as she got up.

"Hey, you know, now that Gohan's beat cell, we can all be friends!" said Krillin.

"Again, what - the - fuck?!"

"GOHAN IS INCREDIBLY STRONG!! SO YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT PUNCHING HOLES IN ANYONE!!" yelled Piccolo, just as Ymacha opened his mouth from the other side of the lookout.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"It was Krillin who stayed by your side, not me!" said Gohan.

"Well, uh it was nothing really! I-I mean I enjoyed it! I mean, uh , I couldn't just leave you there!!"

"I got it!! Krillin, you wanna have sex with her, don't you??" yelled Gohan, not fully understanding what it meant.

"GOHAN!! SHUTUP!!"

"Krillin, how could you?! You know she's an android, right pal??" said Tien.

"What the fuck?"

"Guh ... " said Krillin in a pathetic attempt to recover himself.

"Fine, I'll see you tonight!!"

18 flew off.

"Oh my god, she digs you!!" said Ymacha. "That's not fair!!"

"ALRIGHT, SHUTUP!! LET'S SUMMON THE DRAGON!!" said Piccolo, who drop his luggage and surf board on the ground. He was dressed in a bright yellow hawaiian shirt with blue shorts,sandals and he had some sun glasses over his eyes. He also had a garland on.

"Yeah, and then Trunks will come back! And Dende and me! You'll have plenty of friends, so you won't even need a girl!!"

"You really don't get it, do you ... " said a tearful Krillin.

"Yeah, well, I could have been having Cell right here, and right now, if he wasn't dead!!"

"WHAT?!"

Suddenly, Shenron popped out of the dragonballs with a giant pair of office-worker glasses and a filing cabinet in one of his paws. ( what ever they are) and went hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh into the skyyyyyyy!!

"Hey dudes! I'm here now so let's get it over with. You have two wishes to make so hurry it up because I have an appointment at 3," said the dragon.

"Could you bring all those who were killed by Cell back to life??"

"Uh ... yeah ... "

"WOAH!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!" yelled Trunks, who got up squealing like a girl.

"Oh no ... " they all said.

"HEY! I'm alive ... " said Android 16, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Hold your horseflies, you're not in the rest of the series!" said Tien.

"Oh yeah ... see yah!"

16 self destructed.

(well, why didn't 16 come back?? he was killed by Cell too!)

"And could you bring back Goku!! We all really want him to come back!!" said Yamcha.

"HEY, LET'S NOT EXAGGERATE HERE!!"

"Well, no, because, you see ... " Shenron pulled Goku's enormous record out of the filing cabinet, " ... Goku has been revived before and so it is impossible!" he said while adjusting his glasses.

"Well, it looks hopeless, let' go home!" laughed Krillin.

"Hold on a sec, man, you still have ne wish remaining!!"

**PLZ REVIEW! (Pretty pleeeeeeeez!!??)**


	28. The Pointless Conversation

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 28: The Pointless Conversation**

"You have one damn wish! Make it! It ... is ... tiiiimmmeee ... " bellowed the dragon.

"You know that everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die?" said Yamcha.

"Make the wish ... "

"Good point, man ... " said Tien.

"Make it now!"

"I wouldn't mind dying, but it's the thought of staying dead that scares the hell out of me! Hahahahhahahahahaha!"

"The wish?"

"Oh, uh ... well, if we can't think of a good, wish, then how about a bad one? I mean, wouldn't it be cool, if we were all filthy rich?!"

"Yamcha, stop being so lame!" said Tien.

"I can never think of a god wish whenthe dragon is here," said Mr Popo.

"SHIT! ME NEITHER!" yelled Piccolo.

"Neither can I! IS THIS STUPID DISADVANTAGE! THE ONE THAT GOT ME KILLED!!" cried Trunks.

"TRUNKS! SHUTUP!" they all yelled.

"Hmph ... "

"Fine ... I will go back to the dragon world nooow!" said Shenron.

"Hold your horseflies! I have a wish! I'd likeyou to change Androids 17 ad 18 into human beings, so that they can live their lives in peace," said Krillin. Not that he knew that Android 18 was looking from behind a pillar at them with one lieging throush her head: 'What the fuck?!?!?!?!?!'

"That wish ... "

"Spit it OUT!" yelled Krillin.

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ... "

"Please please please!"

" ... NOT be granted! It is beyond my power to do so! So THERE!"

"Crap. Oh wait! Could you take the explosives out of the androids at shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Uh, fine, whatever," said the dragon as his eyes glowed. "There, you selfish bastard! I shall gooo nooooow!"

And shenron went POOF!

"Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to hog the wish," said Krillin as he saw Gohan fold his arms in a huff. "I just want her so bad."

"It doesn't matter, Krillin," said Gohan with a smile. "I know how you feel when you really want someone ... "

"What?! You're still in love with Cell even though he tried to kill you!"

"Yep. Next year, I'll wish him back for a day so that I can screw him!"

"GOHAN! YOU'RE SICK!"

Gohan rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Krillin, why did you want to wish that guy back too??"

"Well, him and 18 make such a good couple that I thought she'd be happier with him!"

"HELLO?!" cried the android as she came out of nowhere.

"Wow! She's still here!" aid Krillin, slightly drooling.

"HEY, BONE HEADS, SEVENTEEN IS MY TWIN BROTHER!"

"Huh?!"

"Forget it, I'll see you on Friday!"

"HEY WAIT!!" cried the monk as she took off. "Aaaw, man, I never got her number!"

"IT'S 18, STUPID!!" yelled Piccolo.

"... I don't get it ... " said Trunks. Every one collapsed (anime thing).

"Ah, fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" And Tien went bye bye until the end of the frickin' series ... -.-;

"Uh ... anyway, what's your plan, Trunks, are you going back right away?" asked Gohan.

"Heck NO! I'm going to see the Pokemon factories first because they were all destroyed in my time!"

"Man, I wish Cell was here ... "

"WILL YOU SHUTUP ABOUT CELL!"

"Shutup, Piccolo, you're just jealous because because you've never felt like having a good hard shag!"

"Can you say 'what the fuck did I do last night?'" mumbled Yamcha.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

O.O

Anyway ... let's re-write that scene ...

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"Hey Piccolo, happy holidays!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Uh ... (sweat drop) see yah!"

Trunks, Yamcha, Krillin and Gohan all flew awaaaay!

Later, Trunks and Yamcha were flying together ...

"You mean my father was sad that I died?!"

"Yep, he was!"

"Woah ... "

"See yah, Trunks!"

"Adios!"

'This show needs subtitles ... ' thought Yamcha.

"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"And that's pretty much the it, mom."

Chi-Chi cried on the floor and Ox-King said something that I can't be assed typing out becuase I fall asleep everytime I hear it so ... yeah ... to fill this insignificant gap in the story, let's hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ...

Hum ... n oops, too far.

"Bye, everyooooooooooooone!" said Trunks.

Gohan felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Cell? Oh, dad. Hey!"

"Who the heck are you talking to, Gohan?"

"I can see dead people, Krillin ... "

"I know, Gohan, I see them tooo ... let's go inside ..." said the monk, patting Gohan pathetically on the shoulder.

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	29. To Infinity And Beyond!

**The Cell Games Gone Wrong**

**Chapter 29: To Infinity And Beyond!**

BOOOOOOOOOOM!!

"Woo! Bonus points!!" yelled 17.

"Oh my Kami!! You're just soo boring!!" said 18, sunbathing on the roof of a building. 17 hmphed at her and blew up the building she was sleeping on.

"HEY YOU RETARD!!"

"HAHAHAHHAAAA!!"

"GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!"

Meanwhile ...

POOF

Trunks and his "Time ... Machine" (Watch Austen Powers) landed outside of his half-house.

"AAH!! This stupid disadvantage has now blown up my house!! Great ... "

Bulma was inside the lab reading porn, when Trunks suddenly came in ...

"Hey! Whacha reading th - OH MY GOD!!"

"Trunks!! It's not what it looks like!! Anyway .. you're ... back?"

"Don't try to ... oh, yeah!!"

"Wow!! You've grown up fast!!"

"Well yeah ... but my disadvantage got me killed."

Bulma stopped checking out her son and blankly stared ...

"BUT!! I'm back, you know!!"

"You're a freakin CORPSE!"

"Urgh ... "

Later ...

"WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" said Trunks as he flew towards the city.

BOOOOOOOM! Again ...

"Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!!"

18 did that contiuously while she blew upeverything outside her air space.

"Hey! Sis, you're gonna blow a circuit if ya keep this up!"

"Will you fuck off!! I'm not talking to you!!"

"Why, coz I blew up that condom place?!"

"No!"

"Or was it that guys you had your eye on?!"

"NO!"

An old man pointed a gun at 17 freo under his car.

"You demon!! That was my favourite jelly babies mug!!"

"Oh, so you want to play Toy Story huh? All righty then, Woody, draw!!" said the black-haired android, as he put a fish tank on his head and gether a blast in his hand. "Too infinity and holy shit!!"

He jumped out of the way of a blast. Trunks landed in frotn of 18. Alright Zurg, let's fight!! This stops now!!"

"The name is Buzz Lightyear, and the only thing that stops here is you!!" he said, whilst sticking bottle caps on his chest. "Hey, 18, you fight him while I find a green one!! There's got to be a 7up around here somewhere!!"

18 blasted him, but Trunks disappeared. "Uh, where did he go - AAAAH!" 18 ended up crashind through a number of buildings. "Oh, you're DEAD!!" 18 and Trunks ended up dancing around for a moment until Trunks accidentaly threw her aside. She landed in front of 17.

"Coem on!! Stupid bottle cap!!"

"Oh!! I HATE YOU!!"

"Yeah, I hate you too!!"

"WUSS!!"

"COW!!

"IDIOT!!"

"Wanna make out?!"

"NOOO!!"

Both androids attacked. When 18 knocked 17's arm, he pushed her aside.

"Be careful with the laser, it's extremely dangerous!!" he said while stroking the red bottle cap on his arm.

"For the hundredth time!! YOU ARE NOT BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!"

"Hey!! Do you know how ahrd it is to find cola bottles nowadays?!"

Trunks blew up 18.

"Do you mind?!"

"No ... (drumroll) ... I BABYSIT!!"

"NOOOOO!"

Trunks blew up 17 ... "phew ... "

A few days later ...

"Right mom, I'm gonna go back to the past!! I left my jacket there!!"

"OKAY!! HURRY BAACK!!"

"HEY CELL COME OUT!!"

"What the f- "

"You are sooo lame!! Sneaking around like the boogieman!! Oh, and by the way 17 and 18 are dead so THERE!!"

"Um ... I was kust wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar, that's all ... " said Cell, holding up a sugar cup.

"Oh ... well, uh!! Ah ah ah!! I know what you're trying to do!! I'm gonna KILL YOU!!"

"All I want is some sugar, man ... "

WHACK!! POW!! BOOOM!!

Cell died ... again.

**THE END!**

**PLZ REVIEW BECAUSE THIS TOOK MONTHS TO DOOO!!!**


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